Ukraine can only hope

  

The last thing Ukrainians want is a war with Russia – a conflict that could destroy lives and livelihoods. 

The Russian invasion of 2014 inflicted enough damage, killing an estimated 14,000 people, wreaking havoc on their economy and devaluing their currency that has not since recovered. 

At that time, Russian President Vladimir Putin took advantage of internal conflicts to pursue his agenda, taking hold of portions of Ukraine that have historically been pro-Russia. It at least gave the façade of choice by the people of those regions.  

Views on Russia have drastically changed since that time. Once viewed as a “brother,” as my wife’s brother-in-law from Ukraine once said, the typical Ukrainian now views Russia with suspicion and distrust. 

Our nephew from Ukraine fought in the war in 2014, spending 45 days in the frontline's trenches. He now lives in Canada with us, going to school to start a new life. Although he was willing to stay in the military, a well-paid position by Ukrainian standards, we’re thankful he quit at the end of his contract. 

There are few good options for a country like Ukraine. If Russia invades, Ukraine will fight with its limited military resources, but could be easily overcome without Western aid. If Western nations should choose to wage war on Ukrainian soil, millions of lives will be put in danger, including people we know. 

But if they don’t push back, then what? Putin gets to divide and conquer at will? Should the West simply chalk it up to another meaningless country’s destruction, a nation without oil and valued resources? 

The U.S. has threatened further sanctions, but to date they’ve had little effect. With oil rising to $100 per barrel, Putin has plenty of resources available. Not only that, he has European countries over the barrel (literally) because of their dependence on his country’s natural gas supply. Germany recently shut down its zero-emission nuclear power plants to import more dirty gas from Russia, with a new pipeline set to bypass Ukraine in the next year. 

Russia also has the backing of China which, as I understand, is watching the situation closely to see how easily it could overtake autonomous countries like Taiwan.  

This is the predicament the world finds itself in as autocratic regimes fill in the vacuum left by the United States, a superpower unwilling to commit to another foreign fiasco. European and Canadian governments are just as unwilling to appear aggressive when Russia is standing with a rifle at Ukraine’s doorstep. The West, and those countries under its sphere of influence, are now being pushed around by a weaker power that uses cunning to play the long game of gradual geopolitical expansion. 

As much as I’ve opposed military action, the Western alliance of countries still plays a role in maintaining world stability and promoting democracy abroad. Once it fails, many pieces fall with it. 

Not only is Ukraine at risk of losing a functioning democracy (they elected a comedian as president, for goodness' sake – what greater evidence do we need that democracy works?), but of being subservient to a foreign power. 

Putin may invade Ukraine and may even be successful at deposing their elected government. But I wonder how he expects to win the minds of the population, filled with a new sense of resentment and rage. 

This offers one reason to hope he will hold back. It seems the only thing Ukrainians can do at this point is hope. 

Techno lust must be curbed

  

Last year we had to downgrade our microwave. That’s right, downgrade. 

Our 20-year-old model stopped working and the only one that could fit into the same opening was a smaller, weaker microwave. 

Just think about that... After twenty years of technological advancement, microwaves have become less efficient: bigger (not inside, mind you) and less powerful. 

I’m thankful this isn’t a general trend. Imagine your next iPhone being an inch thicker with a smaller screen and slower processor. They could call it the iPhone XXL. 

Computer processing speeds double approximately every two years, a concept known as Moore’s law. This exponential growth allows us to have hand-held devices that are thousands of times more powerful than the computers that used to take up entire rooms in the 1940s. We now have watches where we can read emails, turn on appliances, and watch Netflix (I’m sure it’s coming). 

I once had a professor who frequently talked about his “techno lust” as if it were some modern-day sin. “I always want the newest electronic device,” he said, tongue panting like a dog. “I want it, I need it!” 

I, too, can become rather fixated on techno gadgets. Every couple years I need a fix with a new phone, laptop or something digital I can strap on to my body. 

But imagine for a moment that the rate of technological advance did slow down for a moment. Would we even notice? And might it have some advantages? 

Social media is a prime example of why our techno-addictions may need to be curbed. While Facebook helps us socialize, it also spreads misinformation and places undue pressure on our frail egos. Teenagers in particular are impacted by social pressures in digital space. As adults, time gets gobbled up texting, posting and raging – time that could be spent interacting with our kids (or watching TV... with our kids).  

Taking this a dark step further, there’s considerable concern over artificial intelligence and what will happen when these things become smarter than us. As we’ve seen in the Terminator movies, it only takes a small army of autonomous killer robots to wreck everything. 

Wars of the modern era are already being waged in cyberspace. While the public is largely unaware, these are dangerous and costly, threatening to disable everything from banking systems to entire power grids. 

Perhaps I should take some comfort in my new, feeble 900-Watt microwave that takes a good 30 seconds longer to warm up my food every single meal. Not only does it teach me patience, it gives me hope that technology may have limits. It’s only a glimmer, but the path forward is not entirely out of our control.  

There may be some benefit to unplugging ourselves from our devices for a few moments or even a few days (shudder), to take some time to consider how these things are affecting us. 

My daughter still recalls with fondness the evening we went without electricity seven years ago while visiting my parents. Out came the candles, the board games and the booze (hey, why not?) Since there was nothing else to do, we were forced to be communal. 

Those days before electricity, before the internet, and certainly before covid, we had to engage in far more face-to-face contact, forging relationships over and over again. During the pandemic, I’ve seen and experienced relationships break down where there has been a lack of in-person communication. At the same time, relationships have strengthened among those closest to me. 

Personal contact has its merits. While Zoom and other digital platforms may have saved us from complete isolation, technology on its own does little to improve our psychological well-being. 

Hey, even killer robots may one day need our love (shudder). 

We're literally LOLing ourselves to death

Like most of the modern world, I’m addicted to emojis. 

I have trouble ending a text without some kind of smiley face.  

Not that I’m very skilled in their use. For a while, I used the smiley face with the open hands until I realized this was the “hug” emoji. I immediately stopped using it, out of caution more than anything. Never can be too careful.  

I frequently use the face sticking out his tongue, and sometimes throw in the sweaty forehead guy. My co-worker tends to use the guy who shrugs his shoulders a lot. He just doesn’t know.

I'm also adept at supercool texting lingo like “lol”. As with most of these abbreviations, it gets over-used. Did I really “laugh out loud” when you sent that text? No, I didn’t, but I’ll let you think I did anyway. 

Some teenage girls have gone a step further (according to my daughter, who is well versed), where they pronounce the full abbreviation of “lol” as “lawl” in their conversations. But they don’t say it while actually laughing out loud at someone’s joke. They say it with a straight face, as in, “Lawl, that’s funny, I'm almost cracking a smile.”  

I fear it’s only a matter of time before emojis enter our everyday speech. Fortunately, we don’t yet have the means to do this other than showing our own creepy smiling faces. But there is already some evidence of emoji-speak using our bodies, such as shaping your hands like a heart when in front of a camera. We haven’t started doing this in the office yet, but I’m sure it’s coming. 

The same temptation arises in more formal writing. At times, I want to add a smiley face at the end of sentences when writing my blog. This is ridiculous, but I frequently feel the urge. I read an email from a younger woman (let’s call her a “Millennial”) where she couldn’t stop using “ha ha” after every other sentence. It was unnecessary, but better than writing “lol” and much better than inserting “like” into every sentence, which is also common in Millennial parlance.... that, along with the liberal use of “literally.”  

Allow me to provide an example typical teenage speech: “I, like, loved that meme! I was like, literally, lawling on the floor!” 

I’m probably out to lunch on how teenagers actually talk, but it was my best shot. 

It is interesting, though, how you can tell the age of a person by simply listening to them speak or even by reading their texts. Older people tend to speak in full, complete sentences with a lot of “uhs” and “ums”. They might come across as overly forthright in their texts because of their lack of friendly smiley faces.  

My age group (let’s call them Generation X) clings to some of the older language vices while also adopting some newer ones. We might over use “like” at times, but we use abbreviations less than our younger peers. Our texts might include full sentences with fully spelled out words. We use emojis, but usually only one a time. Strings of emojis are a dead give-away that a younger person is texting. 

And this brings me to that generation, those who’ve grown up with devices in their hands since birth (Generation Z?). For these youngsters, texting is more organic, like speech. You can throw out every grammar rule in the book. You might also need a manual to figure out all the abbreviations, IMHO! And who cares if auto-correct makes a sentence unintelligible? It’s a text, for Pete’s sake, not a letter to the Queen!  

Ah, letters, I remember writing those... They started out with, “Dear so-and-so" and ended with, “Yours truly”. They contained a body with a message that required thought and care. How quaint.  

Lawl. 

Be alone with thyself

This may get a little philosophical. 

It’s the consequence of spending a week in bed alone. For the most part, I had to restrict my sensory input, particularly as it pertained to my eyes. Yes, at the tender age of 44, I finally decided to get my eyes zapped with lasers. 

While I could entertain myself for portions of the time with podcasts and some meditation – and let’s be clear, no one can or should meditate for longer than an hour at a time – this was ultimately insufficient in preventing a gradual mental decline. 

When we are alone with our thoughts, dark things can happen.  

I was relieved to learn that I’m not alone in this respect. In an experiment of over 400 American university students, researchers found that half the students did not enjoy the experience of spending 15 minutes alone in a room without any distractions. This is perhaps not surprising. 

More surprising was that nearly half of the participants would have rather endured a small electric shock than have to sit through another 15 minutes alone with their thoughts. 

Think about that. How dangerous our minds must be that we can’t be left alone with them for minutes. Like I said, dark things can happen. 

Alone by myself, without books or Netflix, I became a slave to my mind and its emotions: Regretful at one moment, content at another, inspired for a while, and then irritable. What is it about lying uselessly in bed for hours at a time that makes one irritable?

It becomes impossible to stop thinking. I tried the old Jedi mind/meditation trick, to simply think about nothing. Just let those thoughts float by like clouds. There they go... But oh, they’re coming back and they’ve transformed into something ominous – looks like they’re beginning to swirl.  

Why am I dwelling for the hundredth time on a negative life event? Do I get some sick satisfaction out of my own torment? Or is this the “electric shock” I desire in place of boredom?  

I’ve often wondered whether I require continuous distractions in life to prevent certain thoughts from overtaking me. 

For some people, these “life distractions” come naturally. I once worked for a man who was inherently optimistic and happy. He was a marvel to observe. It was like he was injected with a happiness hormone every morning (to my knowledge, he was not on “meds” and to further my confusion, he only drank decaffeinated coffee). 

We are all wired differently and it results in different personalities – some are inherently happier than others. But environment also matters. 

I should be cautious to go back to the same example over and over again, but a book about a tribe in the Amazon was mind-blowing for me. These hunter-gatherers are arguably the happiest people on earth. They laughed when a missionary told them about a relative who had committed suicide, not out of disrespect but disbelief. How could anyone take their own life when life is so good? 

The Piraha live simple lives with few modern-day pressures. From what I gather, they also don’t sit alone with their thoughts for long, perhaps because someone will interrupt them. But when they do get a chance to sit on the forest floor to meditate(?), maybe their thoughts are so positive, like clouds, they simply float away. 

I can honestly say, I don’t know... What I do know is that in our culture, some of our greatest battles are fought from within. 

If you dare, try it for yourself. Be alone with your thoughts for 15 minutes and see how you fare. 

Perhaps you’d prefer a jolt of electricity instead?

What not to expect in 2022

Let’s not look back at 2021. We’ve all had enough year in review, and does 2021 really deserve a highlight reel? After a year of lock-downs, vaccination controversy and one new variant after another, I’m sure all of us are eager to move on to a bright, new 2022 (because so far, it’s looking waaay better!)  

Since I’m terrible at predicting the future, I will instead look into my murky crystal ball and... Yes, I can see more clearly now... everything that will definitely not happen in 2022. This, of what I speak, shall never come to pass... 

 

China boycotts its own Winter Olympics. President Xi Jinping becomes disgusted with himself and the way he’s been ruling his country. Upon reflection and hours of meditation, the now-humble dictator decides to reform the courts, close all “re-education” camps, and free Tibet. It’s all very good, but Olympic athletes are miffed. Protests led by figure skaters and bobsledders erupt at Chinese embassies across the globe, proving the Olympics are really all about one thing: Sponsorship deals. 

 

Justin Trudeau calls another snap election. You would have thought he had learned his lesson, but the prime minister is eager to gain a new mandate after nothing has changed. The coronavirus still rages, inflation still rises, and unvaccinated Conservative MPs keep dropping like flies. “I have come to realize that Canadians don’t love elections,” said Trudeau after visiting the governor general at Rideau Hall. “But they still like elections, just not every year. And so we need an election today to prevent another election from happening again next year. Let us move forward together to put a stop to annual elections once and for all!” 

 

Greta Thunberg throws in the towel on climate change. Upon signing a multi-million-dollar deal with ExxonMobil to be their spokesperson, environmentalists question how authentic her beliefs actually were. Others remain convinced she wants to change the system from within. When asked whether she sold out to Big Oil, her response was classic Thunberg: “That’s all you ever ask, but your words are empty. They’re like blah, blah, blah! Now if you’ll excuse me, my private jet is waiting.” 

 

Joe Biden helps Democrats win the midterms. Sliding in the polls for the last half of 2021, the 79-year-old pulls out all the stops in 2022. Actually, he just stops. Seeing the pointlessness of trying to legislate anything new, he begins to understand that Americans don’t actually want anything from their president. They appreciate a regular-looking guy they can have coffee with. Like his predecessor, Biden takes up golf... Then painting with George W. Bush... Then even some light documentary-making with his buddy, Barack Obama. The public is so impressed with the return of Regular Joe that they forget how bad things really are. 

 

The NFL returns to a covid bubble for playoffs – as in, literally, a bubble. You’ve likely heard of the Bubble Boy? Well, this is similar. Shaped like a dome, this hastily assembled plastic protuberance in the Arizona desert will keep players safe from the Omicron variant that has decimated teams in recent weeks. Upon the medical advice of Aaron Rodgers, the league has decided to allow the unvaccinated to play with the vaccinated, so long as they don’t breathe in one another’s faces. Face-to-face tackles are now prohibited. 

 

Donald Trump goes into therapy. After being diagnosed with a number of neurotic issues, like losing the ability to talk about himself in the third person, the former president has begun live therapy sessions with Dr. Phil. “It’s Apprentice Number Two!” writes a television critic for US Weekly. “But instead of a shrewd billionaire, we now see the human behind the red tie – Trump’s small, suffering inner child.” Televised daily, the former president’s self-esteem (and narcissism) is quickly revived as the show’s ratings sky rocket. 

 

Last, but not least, the pandemic ends. With a whimper, not a bang, the last covid variant to spread through the world is appropriately called Omega. Rich in fatty acids, this variant actually improves one’s health, reducing the risk of hospitalization and heart disease. For the first time, the vaccinated regret their decision to get eight doses of vaccine. The main thing is, no one dies. 

 

We can only hope. Happy New Year!