It won't happen in 2016

            Seeing as it’s always easier to predict what won’t happen than what will, I will once again project far into the new year to tell you what will definitively not come to pass in 2016.

            The Blue Jays move to Mexico.  After an extraordinary year in 2015, Rogers Communications reaps the benefits by selling the team to a wealthy businessman (i.e. drug lord) in Mexico.  The team will be Mexico’s first Major League Baseball team, and will be called the Tijuana Senores de la Droga (translated loosely as the Tijuana Pharmacists).  Lucrative advertising deals will immediately be landed by some of its players.  Jose Bautista will take on a new WWE-like role as “The Enforcer,” with bat swinging in hand.  While the league was at first hesitant about promoting violence (but not drug use) in baseball, it hopes to become more competitive with the NFL, which is turning into a “league of concussion-protocol pansies,” according to the Commissioner of Baseball.

            ISIS asks for peace and forgiveness.  Fighters of the Islamic State suddenly realize in 2016 that fighting really doesn’t get you anywhere.  They turn in their guns and commit to mindful meditation and hot yoga.  As a consequence, they leave hundreds of estranged young men across the globe to continue to be estranged.  The void left in their jihadist hearts will not be filled easily.  Video games will have to do.

            Justin Bieber does Canada proud.  Bieber is back in the news again in 2016, but not for his childish antics or his fling with a Kardashian (not a Star Trek character, as I initially thought).  This time he’s actually done something noteworthy.  The young renegade without a cause has decided to distribute free copies of his latest album to all Syrian refugees as they enter Europe.  Bieber handed out the first few copies on a Grecian beach, receiving a lukewarm reception (some of the children were spotted using the CDs as Frisbees).  He was caught on camera with tears in his eyes, later confirmed to have been caused by the sand.

            Trump wins the Nobel Peace Prize.  After winning the Republican nomination, Donald Trump goes on to lose a close political battle to Hillary Clinton in the American presidential race.  Trump is consequently awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for not winning the presidency and maintaining a respectable amount of world peace.

            Apple doesn’t come out with a new iPhone.  Apple announces that it’s done enough when it comes to electronic engineering, and suggests that its followers spend more real face time with friends and family.  The backlash is considerable.  After some serious threats made to Apple headquarters (non-ISIS militants, of course), the company gives in and provides a scaled down version called the iPhone 6D.  It weighs in at 2.2 pounds, has actual buttons you can push, and only sends messages via Morse code, but is hailed as revolutionary by non-techno geeks for its retro look and features.

Climate change comes to an end.  After a successful convention in Paris, the United States begins to lead the world in green technology.  It nearly bankrupts the economy, but by the end of 2016, one can’t drive anywhere in the U.S. without seeing a wind turbine or solar panel. The landscape becomes cluttered with what becomes known as “eco-junk.” Obama ends his presidency by claiming that climate change, as we know it, has come to an end.  President-elect Clinton pledges to clean up at least some of the junk he left behind.

            Trudeau gives fewer hugs.  After one year of being our nation’s head honcho, Justin Trudeau’s real colours start to show.  In 2016, Trudeau begins his ruthless clamp down on immigrants and cute innocent animals.  A picture of him kicking his cat surfaces on the Internet.  There is speculation that the stress of having two nannies, a wife and three kids is finally getting to him.  One of the nannies gets the can and then spills the beans to the national press.  She reveals that Trudeau has limited his physical contact with Liberal colleagues to only two hugs per Cabinet meeting.

            Happy New Year!

In the spirit of the real St. Nick

            Along with the flurry of a commercialized Christmas, or which I have a love-hate kind of relationship, there also come some real moments of generosity at this time of year.

            Christmas does tend to bring about the best in humanity, as it should.  There is an underlying them of positive goodwill that makes us all realize, it’s indeed better to give than to get (although getting is okay too, in my humble opinion).

            Individuals today and throughout history have amazed us with their generosity and self-sacrifice, people we typically want to emulate in our daily lives.

            Unsurprisingly, the legend of Santa Claus is built upon this very theme of selflessness.  The original St. Nicholas (so the Internet tells me) lived in the fourth century in modern-day Turkey.  He gave away most or all of his inherited wealth to help the poor and sick.  Over time, his life of self-sacrifice earned him the sainthood, becoming a legend throughout Europe over 1,000 years after his death.

            His life wasn’t as magical as the jolly bearded version of St. Nick who lives at the North Pole, but it is incredible the impact his simple life had on generations after him.

            Certainly even the little things we do for others can hold significance.  The other day I was quite surprised by how much my daughter remembered about last year’s Christmas.  This day of great anticipation was remembered in detail for its customs and traditions, even if we just happened to make some of them up that year.

            Driving around the city to look at lights on Christmas Eve?  Oh yes, we’ve always done that… for the last couple years anyway.  And we were reminded that we did that after gift-opening, not before.

            In the same way, those in need tend to remember quite clearly when they’ve been provided aid.  As gift-givers, we may not give it much thought when we help someone out, but the recipient will always remember.

            Thankfully, our society still places an emphasis on helping those who are in need.  Food banks, shelters and soup kitchens tend to attract more volunteers and donations around Christmas than any other time of year. 

            It would be quite easy to neglect those in need in our affluent society, basing it on the view that even the poor in Canada are rich, relatively speaking.  Or to take on the stance that those who don’t help themselves, shouldn’t be helped.  Doesn’t it create a culture of dependency, after all?

            These views may be held by the most devoutly religious, of all people.  I confess to make these judgments myself when I assess whether someone should be helped or not.  But the simple reality is that we have not walked in the shoes of those in need. 

            A small town near where I grew up recently established its own food bank.  One might think that a food bank is not necessary in small town Saskatchewan, but clearly the demand is there.  This Christmas, they gave out over 180 food hampers to families in need.

            My dad had the idea to start this food bank a few years ago, and while there has been some opposition, it’s been generally well received by the community. 

            More than just provide food, it’s given the volunteers an opportunity to relate and befriend those in and outside of the community who would otherwise remain strangers.  Those who come for hampers are also welcome to stay for coffee and visit.  People from very different backgrounds and cultures have a unique opportunity to understand one another better.

            I’m sure the real St. Nick would wholeheartedly approve.

Impossible to avoid that Christmas creep

            No, I’m not talking about Santa, although an argument could be made…  I’m talking about the Christmas season.  It’s creeping up on us earlier and earlier every year.

I could just be me, but I’ve never noticed Christmas lights on homes in mid-November until this year. 

            Christmas merchandise was available in many stores before Remembrance Day.  I understand that Remembrance Day isn’t quite as marketable as Halloween or Christmas, but hold off with the Christmas music until after the poppy season!

            Maybe I’m old school, but I think the brakes should be put on Christmas creep, with Christmas decorations only going up on the first Advent.  That’s about the time we put up our Christmas tree.  The first year we did it I thought even that was early – I’m more accustomed to the mid-December tree installation, especially when it’s a real tree.  But thanks to genetic engineering (I really don’t know about that), a tree can now last a good 50 days.  It has to last until Ukrainian Christmas and then “Old” New Year’s in our household (January 14^th)!

            This isn’t Christmas creep, but rather Christmas over-extension.  It’s happening in the retail world as well, where Boxing Day is no longer a day, but rather a week.  Might as well just make it the whole month of January. 

            In the United States, Black Friday has crept into Canada, where we have no reason to have sales on a Friday after American Thanksgiving.  It’s a popular event for consumers, but apparently of less benefit to retailers whose profits are cut in half during a time of prime demand.

            In the U.S., Black Friday sales used to begin that Friday morning, then they crept up to Friday at midnight, and now some sales start Thursday evening during Thanksgiving turkey.  It’s heretical!  They might as well just start the sales on November 1^st and call it – that’s right – Black November.

            It’s of course all driven by retailers who are competing for profits for as long as possible.  This is understandable, but aren’t there limits to consumer spending?  Does it help to extend the period of spending?  Has it really been working?

We tried to scale back on our tree this year ;-)

            Based on U.S. statistics, it appears not to be.  Holiday sales as a percentage of total industry sales amounted to 19.3% in 2014.  That’s pretty significant and quite unsurprising.  But it’s still less than from 2000 to 2005 when holiday sales reached a high of 20.0%.  Even accounting for the recension post-2008, retailers would have surely been able to reach the same levels as 15 years ago though Christmas creep and over-extension.

            Or is the reality that consumers don’t have that much more cash to spend?  In Canada, the bulk of our spending now goes towards over-priced mortgages with additional spending racked up as debt.

            Consumers and retailers would do themselves a favour by scaling back a little.  Stores need to stop the never-ending sales.  Price things the way they should be priced in the first place, and return retail to normalcy.

            Consumers would benefit from a little less gift-giving fanaticism.  Take a break from it all – don’t give gifts this year, and see how your family reacts! 

            Our extended family is attempting to scale back this year because I strongly suggested it.  Sure, I may have been perceived as a scrooge, but is there any real point to exchanging gift cards every year?

            The kids are different of course, we spoil them no matter what.  And as adults we end up spoiling ourselves anyway this time of year.

            For example, I didn’t need to buy that big-screen TV last Christmas.  But creep or no creep (this may be a reference to Santa), it’s so much easier to justify than in July.

Even the geese are confused this winter

            You know it’s an abnormally warm year when there’s open water on a small Prairie lake in the middle of December.  Even more abnormal to see hundreds of geese in that water.

            I think they forgot to migrate this year. Now I realize there is a group of geese that never migrates.  They missed a critical year of learning how to fly south, and now they’re stuck in our city.  They even get fed, to basically foster their ignorance. (Don’t get me wrong, I love geese in the wild, but do you know a city goose deposits one kilogram of fertilizer in our parks each and every day?!)

I fear there’s a new contingent of geese that won’t know how to fly to Florida.  This time we can attribute it to El Nino.  This is likely the most intense El Nino we have ever seen. 

            The combination of climate change and the natural cyclical warming of the Pacific Ocean has already broken records and is bound to break more in the years ahead. 

            Saskatchewan could become a new winter refuge for geese for years to come.

Geese enjoying a glorious December day in Saskatchewan

            Like most others in this wretchedly cold province, I’m celebrating a reprieve from the past few winters.  In the past three years we’ve experienced record snowfall and some very cold snaps.  March of 2013 was exceptionally cold and miserable.  Of course compared to the 1920s, temperatures on average might be considered balmy.  But everything is relative…

            For every cold record that’s been broken in the last decade, two warm records were broken.  That’s an indication of a warming world.  How quickly we forget about the spring of 2012 where we experienced the warmest March on record.  Now just three and half years later, records are being broken in December.

            The climatologists could be right.  Imagine that.  This whole climate change thing could really be occurring.

And it’s not just political, as a farmer in California claimed after experiencing four years of extreme drought.  Amazingly, climate change science is viewed as political spin for large segments of the population. 

It’s like when the first negative claims of smoking were made public.  Few believed it, and even if they did, it wasn’t enough to change habits.  It took decades to change public perception so that today, smoking is almost frowned upon (smokers are still the coolest people around, of course).

            It may take decades before the global public feels the effects strong enough to address climate change.  In the fourth stage of a world-wide cancer, humanity may finally attempt to butt out when it comes to fossil fuels.

            Of course there are many complicated issues related to abstaining from fossil fuels, like the economic impacts, potential job losses, and the end of the good life (i.e. winter trips to Mexico, which might become pointless in 50 years anyway).

            It will all come to a head when the public realizes that the costs simply outweigh the benefits.  When a good portion of Vancouver is underwater, when hurricanes cause irreparable damage to the east coast, when geese populations overtake Regina…

            That will be the proverbial tipping point, to borrow a phrase from Al Gore.  But it won’t happen by talking about polar bears or melting ice caps, areas of the globe that very few of us have ever seen.  Only until we experience the impacts at home will we be incented to change our ways.

            On the normally frigid Canadian Prairies, that could be a very long time indeed.