I fell off my bike (and didn’t get back on... yet)

            When I was young, falling off your bike was a rite of passage.  You wiped out, got your wounds cleaned, then got back on your bike again.

            It seems I’ve reached the age of entitlement.  Now when I fall off my bike I require an ambulance and four hours of emergency care, not to mention a week-long hiatus from bike-riding. 

            Mind you, I can’t recall ever falling off my bike this hard before.  It wasn’t like I was doing some stunt or racing a car down a street or chasing down a burglar – I was merely heading to work, when I decided to make a right turn (too suddenly, apparently) on a rather slippery street. 

I must have hit the pavement hard and fast because I don’t remember any of it.  Usually one can stick out a hand to break the fall, but in this case, it was my head/face that broke the fall, or so I was told.  I remember vaguely one of the city workers who found me talking about a “face plant.”  I wish I could remember who these people are but the whole incident was a blur.

Losing consciousness is an interesting thing.  We do it all the time as we drift off to sleep, but rarely do we get the wind knocked out of us.  It’s interesting that I can’t actually remember myself falling, nor do I remember waiting for the ambulance for 15 minutes – it felt like seconds.

Thank goodness for good-natured city workers – I wish I could remember who they were or what they looked like – I would thank them for pealing me off the pavement and giving me all those wet wipes for my bloody face.

Being in any kind of accident reminds a person how fast things can happen and change for the worse.  Fortunately I didn’t have any long-term damage (ha ha –we’ll see), but an accident has the potential to change one’s life forever. 

It can be costly, too.  I’m fortunate to have work benefits to cover the costs of the 1. ambulance ride (it was great, by the way – would highly recommend); 2. a new lens for my glasses; and 3) dental work on my front tooth that was chipped.  These expenses are minor compared to what some people have to go through, particularly if they have to take time off from work.

My injuries weren’t very severe – a scraped face and minor concussion.  And looking on the positive side, I gained a slightly new perspective on things (can't quite articulate this yet, but I’m sure it’ll come).

So long as the accident isn't too serious, we can learn from it and move on. 

I hope to be biking again soon.

Leave renos to real men (and women)

            I have a lot of respect for those who can renovate their own homes.  In an age of do-it-yourselfers, it’s quite an honour to be able to say, “See that new bathroom vanity?  I did that.”

            I’ve got a few of those places in my own home.  “See that new light fixture?  I did that.”  “See that caulking in the bathtub – I did that.”  “See that new drywall and crusty mudding that still isn’t painted?  Yah, I did that, too.”

When installing light fixtures, turn off electricity

            You get the picture – I don’t do renovations on a large scale.  I try to patch up small areas where I can to maintain our home, but I certainly don’t try to make any structural changes.  And I avoid contractors as much as I possibly can.

            When it came to installing new plumbing under my sink, I let a friend do it – having only done it once before, he did a fabulous job (still no leaks!)  When I needed an extra cabinet beside my newly installed dishwasher, I got my brother-in-law to do it.  And he too did a fine job with the supplies he was provided with (I only gave him $20 to work with – just kidding!)

            Contrast that with a few experiences I’ve had with contractors.  When I got a contractor to put in a new countertop in my kitchen, he got the measurements wrong and had to do the whole thing over again – a process that took six extra weeks.  When I got a so-called plumber to hook up my dishwasher, he hooked up the wrong pipes.

            That’s not to say that there aren’t good contractors out there, but one must be quite wary of the quality and cost.

When caulking, use your finger to create a nice smooth surface

            In a booming economy like ours, contractors are a costly bunch and hard to find.  If you can get a trusted contractor who works for $50 an hour, you’re doing quite well.  Compare that to my dad’s handyman, a retired farmer who will fix anything that is made of wood or steel, and works for a humble rate of $15 an hour.  Your best bet is to find someone you know.

            That’s why I also feel sorry for those who have the innate ability to fix things.  They’re in high demand.  I’m sure they select their friends carefully.  They look for friends with newly renovated, well-maintained homes.

            When we bought our home we were pleased with the work that had already been done.  We didn’t want a fixer-upper, but nevertheless, there are always things you want to change in a 35-year-old home.  Renovating our basement was my own personal project that brought about some tears, but also a sense of accomplishment once it was done.  (I should clarify – when I say renovate, I mean painting the walls and ceiling, adjusting some wood panelling, and installing new light fixtures!)  The new carpet and trim was professionally installed – I don’t dare dabble in work involving air guns and saws that require electricity.

On drywall, try to fan the mud in all different directions

            Sure, as my handyman cousin suggested, I could have saved some money on the trim by buying a saw myself and doing the work.  And sure, I could have also had one less finger – would I be the better for it?  Not at all.  There are some things I would rather not learn how to do.  I simply do not have the interest or temperament.

            Give me a book and I’ll write you a book review, but don’t give me a hammer and nails to make a bird house. 

            And I feel no shame.  So I paid someone a few hundred dollars to expertly do something I could spend months learning to do on my own?  I saved both time and tears (and I do cry when it comes to renos).

I take the view of one of my co-workers who was rather frank when commenting on what he did last weekend.  “I cut the grass,” he said.  “I didn’t do anything else.  I don’t like to work with my hands.”

Amen, brother, amen.

Ukraine needs morale boost

            Like the majority of self-absorbed North Americans, I could care less for soccer.  Even though I grew up playing it every single recess from grade 3 to 6, I didn’t grow up watching it.  I grew up watching football (real football!) and hockey, as did all of my peers, and so my interests developed accordingly.

            For me, soccer is a little like hockey but without the fighting and sticks.  Kick a ball, run, kick it again.  Kind of like golf but with running involved!

What we’re missing in North America is the entire soccer atmosphere.  We don’t build soccer stadiums, we don’t have soccer heroes (David Beckham is way too English for L.A.) – we simply don’t have the same soccer hype.

            In Ukraine, like most non-North American countries, soccer is huge.  My nephews in Ukraine follow it religiously.  And so it’s a pretty big deal when this country gets its first chance to co-host the European Cup.  It will be an even bigger deal if the Ukrainian team can make something of it.

            For a country that can’t seem to get much respect, they need the morale boost.

            While Ukraine has been granted a golden opportunity to host the third largest sporting event in the world, it hasn’t exactly been shown much love by western European countries.  German and French leaders announced they wouldn’t attend games in Ukraine due to the political circumstances.  Former prime minister Yulia Tymoshenko (and political opponent of the current president) has been in prison since October 2011, a clear no-no when it comes to functioning democracies.

            It certainly is true that the current Ukrainian president is a criminal and a thug – he was charged twice in his lifetime with robbery and assault!  He was also behind the rigged elections of 2004 that brought about the Orange Revolution.  Now he’s the president after the government of western-backed Victor Yuschenko failed.

            To say it is the fault of ordinary Ukrainians, however, is wrong.  The public tried to restore democracy to their country in 2004, with few results to show for it.  Ukrainians are held captive by a struggling economy, divided Parliament, and corrupt ruling class.

Ukrainians are used to being viewed as “less than” the rest of Europe.  They know they don’t have the same wealth, democracy, and social programs that western Europe enjoys.  Like in so many poorer countries, their most talented people leave if they can.

            And so it would be quite satisfying if Ukraine could turn the tables on western Europe.  They’ve already shown they can beat a good team by upsetting Sweden 2-1 in their first match.  They’ve got the kingdoms of France and England up next.

            Fortunately they have their star player back.  Andriy Schevchenko, who once left Ukraine for greener soccer fields in Milan at the height of his career, is back in Kiev to finish up. He’s what Wayne Gretzky is to Canada, and he’s their only goal scorer so far in the tournament.  His return couldn’t be more symbolic.

            If there’s anything that can get me interested in sport, it’s the human aspect, where an underdog defies the odds.

            As little as I understand of it, I could get caught up in the soccer craze yet.

           

The grand canary experiment

            When I told people last year that I was going to breed canaries, they laughed.  You’ll never pull it off, they said.  You’re an amateur!  What do you know about raising canaries?

            Okay, maybe “they” didn’t quite say that.  Okay, maybe no one really cared.  But I had doubts.

We bought a nest, put two canaries who we suspected were male and female into the same cage, then let nature take its course.  When the first blue eggs were laid in February, we became quite excited, but that excitement quickly fizzled when we realized they were only good with bacon (no, I didn’t try them!)

The caged canary life begins...

This laying of dud eggs continued for some time until finally we heard a faint peeping noise underneath our canary hen in early May.  Lo and behold, the canary experiment had worked!  Two days later, the second chick hatched, followed by a third. 

Quite quickly we had to learn how to ensure they would have the most productive chickhood possible.  We got all the books, all the videos, attended pre-chick classes, etc.  Fortunately, chickhood goes by quite quickly.

There’s the kind-of-cute stage, where they’re covered with fuzz and can only make small peeps.  Then there’s the ugly, awkward teenage phase, where they don’t quite have feathers and resemble lizards.  Then there’s the almost fully developed, out of the nest young adult stage, where they can actually be on their own while their mother lays another clutch of eggs, as she promptly did.  She didn’t waste any time actually, as she inserted herself into the nest with her chicks to begin her second clutch (now we’re hoping for chick-less eggs.)

The ugly stage

All of this happens over four weeks.  We like to talk about how quickly children grow up, but this takes it to a whole new level.  Imagine the progress human society could make if we didn’t have to spend all that time raising our young ones! 

There are some interesting observations I’ve made through the process, with some parallels to humans.  One is that the oldest chick grows the quickest and is ultimately the most successful.  Okay, I don’t know about the successful part, but as the oldest sibling in my family, I like to make something of this.  Canary breeders often remove eggs as soon as they’re laid and replace them with dummy eggs.  They then place all the real eggs back under the hen to ensure that the chicks hatch at the same time.  This prevents one chick from growing much faster than the others and potentially starving the youngest.

Although I tried this at first with the dud eggs, I soon gave up on it.  Why should I change nature’s way?  The younger chicks, I’ve read, actually have more testosterone in them to compensate for their size.  That’s why you get such feisty younger siblings.  In the case of humans, it’s because they understand as soon as they’re born that they’ll have to fight for attention every step of the way.

The eldest, first to leave the nest

Along with the eggs, I’ve learned that young dads can be duds, too.  While a male canary typically helps the female by feeding the chicks, ours was worse than the stereotypical deadbeat dad.  If he was simply disinterested, that would’ve been better.  But no, he would peck at the nest, chase after his partner, abuse her while she was sitting on her eggs.  The mating season never ended for this stud. 

I suppose we forced him into parenthood too early – he’s only one year old, after all.  We had no choice but to step in and separate him from his family.  Shameless, I know.  But it was our first try, after all.

Mulcair's strange case of Dutch disease

            Thomas Mulcair’s recent visit to the oil sands probably confirmed everything he ever thought about the place.  What an environmental mess!  This place needs more regulation!  Bring on the carbon tax!

            You can’t really blame someone from Quebec, who’s accustomed to diverting natural-flowing rivers for electricity, to feel Alberta’s facing environmental Armageddon.  Whether we like it or not, the feeling is shared by most of the developed world.

            Soon there will be a black mark on Canadian oil if something isn’t done to change the perception that this is dirty oil and that Canada could care less about climate change.       

At one time, the prime minister himself proposed a cap and trade system that would tax carbon-intensive industry.  This was when there was the real possibility that the US would develop its own cap and trade system and Harper was a little more open to such environmental options (i.e. minority government).

            Now it seems that Harper has waged all-out war against environmental regulations, environmental groups and sound scientific research.  The closing of the Experimental Lakes Area research centre, where groundbreaking research on ecosystems was conducted for the last 55 years, is the latest example. 

            While I’m not against a government that wants to promote industry, this government is clearly tilting the table against the David Suzuki’s of the world. 

            And while a cap and trade program such as what Mulcair proposes could hamper the oil industry in Alberta and Saskatchewan, it could also save it.  As hypocritical as the European Union is on the issue (their greenhouse gases have grown less than ours not because of environmental sacrifice, but because of choices they would have made anyway), they need to be satisfied that we are pulling our weight when it comes to action on climate change.  Even the US, which has failed to make any significant movement on climate change, needs to be convinced.

            A $10 tax on each tonne of carbon produced would have a small but meaningful impact, and would go a long way.  Allow each province to keep its own carbon tax dollars for environmental programs and research, and you would eliminate the belief that Mulcair is developing another National Energy Program.  And that is no small fear.

            As much as I abhorred Mulcair’s implication that the East is suffering at the West’s expense, there is some truth to it.  How can one deny that a strong dollar is hurting manufacturing?   Our currency is clearly linked with the price of oil, and export industries typically benefit from a lower currency.  A study commissioned by the Harper government suggests one third of manufacturing jobs lost in Canada can be attributed to the strong dollar.

            But there are also studies showing that our case of Dutch disease is a mild one, and that Canada has benefited (even in Ontario) from high commodity prices.  Average incomes continue to increase, for example.  The greatest benefits, of course, accrue to Alberta, and the least to Quebec (where university tuition is half the cost of Alberta's)!

            More than anything, this seems to make it clear why Mulcair is not retracting the words he has said.  As popular as Brad Wall is in the West, he means little to Ontario and less to Quebec.  Mulcair will gladly become Quebec’s new champion, while taking as many votes from Ontario (and environmentally friendly BC) as possible.  Alberta and Saskatchewan will not vote NDP in the near future, just as Quebec will not vote Conservative.

            Mulcair is moving in the right direction when it comes to addressing the oil sands, as much as I hate to admit it.  If he can do it without dividing the country, so much the better.