Climate cliff is steep

            I’ve gone full circle on the whole climate change issue. 

In my early twenties, I was convinced we only had a few good years of life left on this planet. I’m not sure why, but as a university student it was easier to say Earth was going to hell in a hand basket. 

Then I grew older, got married, and realized things weren’t that bad. I started to believe in the inescapability of climate change and that we had merely to adapt. The likes of Bjorn Lomborg, the self-proclaimed skeptical environmentalist, appealed to me. A warming world meant fewer deaths from the cold, he reassured me. 

It’s true, the environmental movement is full of alarmists, many of whom didn’t account for the vast improvement in human living conditions worldwide. Genetically modified crops and inorganic food continue to feed the world. Life expectancies are increasing. Poverty has been alleviated significantly through economic development, most of which would not have been possible without fossil fuels. 

As David Attenborough reveals in his latest documentary, we have lived in a golden age. Since the 1950s, global air travel allowed Attenborough to visit the most remote and pristine parts of the Earth, where he documented unseen worlds to an audience getting its first glimpse of our planet’s bounty. 

But as so often happens, our technological growth has come at nature’s expense.  

As Attenborough walks us through the years of his own life, he shows how biodiversity and wilderness areas have declined. Rainforests have been destroyed, oceans have been over-harvested and species have been lost forever. This alone should raise alarm, particularly as our global population has yet to peak. Two billion more humans in 40 years will require that much more of Earth’s resources. 

But even then, if that were all we had to deal with, we could probably manage. We could find ways to protect species and habitat, to reduce growth in strategic ways, and to simply survive with less of nature’s bounty. Not ideal by any means, but there would be a path forward. 

Climate change throws a wrench into things. It compounds all the issues into something far bigger than humanity has ever confronted. It’s one of those wicked issues that cannot be solved with a simple flick of a switch – in this case, a switch that could turn everything off. 

This past year we’ve seen the impact of shutting things down, with the poorest and vulnerable being hit the hardest. A gradual transition to renewable energy would be best, but that should have started decades ago. As we near the point of no return when it comes to climatic positive feedback loops, we may not have another choice but to make a hard stop. Like with the pandemic, hardship today could save so many lives in the future. 

As Attenborough stresses, this is not just about saving nature, although we could make the argument that this is reason enough. This is really about saving humanity. The impacts on economies, societies and human life will be severe. 

We’re already seeing the effects of a one degree change in temperature, never mind the three degrees projected by 2100. The momentous wildfires of 2020, like those in Australia, Siberia and California, are the most visible harbingers of what’s to come.  

But for the most part, changes in Earth’s systems are invisible to us. The acidification of oceans, loss of coral reefs, and melting of northern permafrost are out of sight, out of mind. Like with covid, we might think it’s safe to continue with life as we know it because we aren't personally affected.

Or put our faith in technology. Perhaps safer nuclear power holds promise alongside vast investments in renewable energy, but I’m far more skeptical of schemes like pumping sulfur dioxide into the sky to reflect the sun’s heat back into space. This solution, which is seriously being considered, would be like setting off a supervolcano to permanently taint the sky. 

As we cruise towards the climate cliff, it sometimes feels like we’re building a home-made parachute with little knowledge of whether it can hold us, rather than actually trying to slow down. Perhaps we should try decelerating first, because that cliff is looking pretty steep. 

After seeing the global impact of a tiny rogue virus this past year, I no longer think I’m being alarmist. 

Our curious obsession with Alexander Hamilton

After starting to watch the Broadway musical Hamilton, we wondered if we should continue. It was recommended by our daughter’s teacher, so we thought this would be something educational. And it is. 

But it’s also a lot to take in when you’re used to watching tame Disney sensations like Frozen or Moana (whom the writer of Hamilton, by the way, also contributed to). But if you’re willing to sign up for Disney Plus for $8.99 a month, you’ll get to watch all of them, Hamilton included (this is not an advertisement). 

Alexander Hamilton was no slouch, I now understand. He was lesser-known Founding Father of America, but he had influence. This nerdy 18th century immigrant served as a military leader, ran the U.S. Treasury, co-authored the Federalist Papers in support of the American Constitution, and also (apparently) knew how to rap and sing. If anything, the music kept us watching. 

The cast’s diversity is also a plus. As much as the writers tried to keep the content historically accurate, we know most of the founding fathers were not in fact Black. Many owned enslaved Blacks, of which the story doesn’t much touch upon. 

Because this is a story about Hamilton. Which will, by the way, be drilled into your head, over and over again, given the number of times his name is repeated throughout the show. It’s even spelled out: “A-L-E-X-A-N-D-E-R...”  

 At certain points I wondered why we had to know so much about this man. Do we really need to know that his wife missed him when he was writing the Federalist Papers? Did it really require a full musical number? (To her credit, she did have a better voice.)

What I failed to grasp initially is that this is an in-depth biography. Writing it entirely to music must have been excruciating, especially when trying to stay true to historical fact (or American myth, if you’re the cynical type. There were convenient omissions, like Hamilton’s insistence that the U.S. president be elected for life).  

But for the most part, this musical rendition succeeds rather marvelously, and meticulously – to the point of even addressing the grammatical significance of a comma in one song, which, I admit, had to be explained to me by my daughter. 

 It’s like picking up the book on Hamilton, doctored up with a healthy dose of pizazz – where Thomas Jefferson acts like a Las Vegas showman and Hamilton’s wife beatboxes while their son raps about turning nine. And King George III acts like an emasculated buffoon because, well, Americans love to envision him this way. But he’s also extremely funny. His musical number is what kept us, as a family, watching and then listening. Our obsession involved playing his song ad nauseam until our daughter knew it word for word. 

But we didn't stop there. We overplayed one Hamilton song after another until we’d listened to the musical at least 30 times in different formats and cycles. It just kept growing on us. 

And at some point it finally dawned on me why Hamilton, of all people, was chosen as the main character. It's because this is a story about the much mythologized American Dream: How a man who was “a bastard, orphan, son of a whore” made it into the history books; how a man who pulled himself up by his bootstraps made it onto Broadway, two centuries later. 

For this reason we could never have a serious Canadian musical dedicated to one of our founding fathers. We don’t have much for Canadian Myths or Dreams. Only Canadian comedy. 

The first lines of Macdonald (John A.) might instead go like this: “How does a crook, drunk, son of a...” It may not even make it as a school play, let alone on Broadway (maybe CBC), but I guarantee it would be hilarious. 

Unlike Americans, we’re much better at laughing at ourselves. 

Royal parking lot better with cars

I'm sure the parking lot will serve a purpose one day.

But last fall, when the great elm trees were being plowed down by bulldozers and black asphalt was poured over the greenery, I was reminded of a song by Joni Mitchell. 

Now I admit, the area wasn’t paradise before they put up the parking lot. In fact, my wife and I both agree that it looks quite “organized” now and a little less like a jungle. But maybe that’s just our Western neoliberal views on progress showing through.

From disorder came order... and light! My goodness, the lights! They light up the entire block, not to mention the nursing home that sits just behind it. Residents must have to attach tin foil to their windows so they can sleep through the night. 

But I’m sure the lights will also one day serve a purpose. For now, they scare away hoodlums – the have-nots who go around stealing things like tree stakes and light bulbs. There’s nothing like crime deterrence, even if it means keeping lights on all night. 

And besides, you never know when someone might actually park there. 

Not the workers at the nursing home, mind you. They don’t get to park there. They have a narrow band of parking up against the province’s flagship senior’s home – a deteriorating building that requires replacement before the baby boomers arrive. There’s not even a walkway connecting the two lots. If staff should choose to park illegally (gasp!), they’ll have to walk through a few newly planted shrubs. 

The message is simple: Stay on your side and we’ll stay on ours. 

Not that I hold it against the authorities. It's their property after all. Property of the Crown, so to speak. Her Royal Highness, if she should ever visit our province again before her death (assuming she’s not immortal), would most certainly welcome a tour of the lot that belongs to her representative of our province, otherwise known as the Lieutenant Governor (that’s pronounced lef-tenant, you commoners). 

I suspect the Queen might even forego the gated entrance and park her vehicle there, just to show how she can relate to the common folk.  

“I do declare,” she would say, while standing on the highest curb the parking lot has to offer, “this is the finest parking lot in all the Queen City.” 

And we would cheer! We would think about all the times the parking lot would be used, like on Canada Day and New Year’s Day and... well, I’m sure they’ll think of more events to hold now that they have the excess parking. No more parking in nearby neighbourhoods, like by our house!

You won’t get any arguments from us. You can’t even imagine how many cars would line our street when a major event (again, once or twice a year) would take place. It was mayhem, with 80- and 90-year-olds crossing the street every which way, all to have some tea with the Queen's representative. One had to assist them endlessly to get safely from their cars to the tearoom and back again. No, I’ll be the first to support a parking lot if it means keeping these royalty groupies off the streets.  

And it’s a nice parking lot. Empty, but beautiful. 

Indeed, fit for the Queen. 

 

https://globalnews.ca/news/7104591/trees-removed-parking-regina-government-house/ 

Hope resides in old quarterbacks

There are some things in life that give you hope. Or make you feel a little better about yourself. 

I’m talking about old quarterbacks. Quarterbacks who’ve been around the NFL for nearly two decades. Ancient men who should be in traction, given the number of hits they’ve endured, have made it into the playoffs again.

In football years, they’re in their 90s. Tom Brady, the oldest and most successful of them all, is a centenarian. At the golden age of 43, he gives me the most hope (yes, we’re the same age and, with some imagination, a similar physique). Valued for his football IQ, the man is a little less agile than when he won his first Super Bowl at 24, but he’s adapted. Now he’s a vegetarian, yoga-practicing father of three. The increased flexibility has paid off – when he gets hit, he turns into a human pretzel.  

Then there’s Drew Brees, father of four, maybe five kids by now. Almost 42, the guy has lost some arm strength, but makes up for it with his passion. He still has the drive of a 20-year-old, even though he runs like he's got a permanent knot in his back. 

Ben Roethlisberger, or Big Ben as he’s called, should really be in a senior’s home. Instead he’s led his team to a 12-4 record at the ripe age of 38. This big bruising quarterback has broken his foot, nose, thumb and ribs; dislocated his shoulder and fingers; sprained his ankle and foot; torn his knee meniscus and, most recently, his throwing arm's elbow tendons (the only NFL QB to return from such an injury). Quite frankly, it’s a miracle he can still walk upright. 

Aaron Rodgers has had a few less injuries (two broken collar bones, three concussions, and a broken foot), but at age 37 will likely be the league’s MVP. This young, spry QB still scampers for touchdowns like he’s, well... 31. He plans to play until he’s 45. We can only hope they’ll one day allow wheelchairs onto the field. 

Like I said before, these are stories of hope. When I watch old guys like these, at the peak of their careers, I want to go out and chuck a football around – show those youngsters in the park what a man my age can do. 

Or, on second thought, maybe I’ll just sit on the couch and watch some football. 

It’s so much easier on my back.

What not to expect in 2021

 As 2020 has proven, the future can be difficult to predict. It has a lot to do with the unknown. As a wise man named Donald Rumsfeld once said, there are known knowns, known unknowns, and even unknown unknowns (the things even Rumsfeld didn’t know). So instead of trying to predict what will happen in 2021, I will suggest what will most definitely not come to pass... 

 

Covid-19 is never mentioned again. People just stop talking about it. Covid-what? they say when watching old footage from 2020. Sure some people remember, but when they do speak it's attributed to a mysterious brain fog. 

Just as strange, the anti-maskers of 2020 change tactics and begin to wear masks all the time, even when it’s no longer necessary. Some of them even don full hazmat suits. As the pandemic subsides, they suspect the release of a new virus specifically designed to kill people like them: those with genetic tendencies to resist rational thought. 

Jeff Bezos goes bankrupt. After riding high for the last decade, the founder of Amazon and once richest man in the world declares his intention to sell his “digital bookstore” for pennies on the dollar. The backlash against his online shopping empire came swiftly in 2021 after Bezos declared his intention to drive Walmart out of business. His proclamation served was a wake-up call for consumers worldwide, who vowed to never shop online again (unless they could get faster shipping). As one Walmart shopper observed, “Is nothing sacred?” 

Justin Trudeau shaves his beard. After a year of showing some maturity, the prime minister reverts back to his childish ways. This includes stomping out of a Cabinet meeting when Chrystia Freeland suggests he stick up to the premiers by putting on his “big-boy pants.” Don’t worry, it’s just a phase. 

The Super Bowl is cancelled. After holding a relatively successful season during a pandemic, the owners conclude that enough is enough. “We’ve put too many people at risk,” said league commissioner, Roger Goodell, after 284 games played this season. “Why risk any more?” Fans wholeheartedly embrace the decision – the ones who actually watch the event for the football, that is. Those who watch for the ads mount a months-long boycott of all Super Bowl products that brings the league to its knees. 

The Star Wars saga continues... and is looking a little desperate. Scraping at the bottom of the barrel, a new series is released: The Life and Times of Jabba the Hutt. From a small worm to a giant, overweight slug, he learns the ways of the corrupt from his father, a real estate tycoon of Tatooine. Watch in horror as he marries and re-marries, has ungainly offspring who also learn the ways of the corrupt, and hustles his way to become one of the most powerful gangsters in the galaxy. 

Speaking of which, Donald Trump wins the U.S. election! As it turns out, he was right! Massive election fraud was uncovered in the four swing states he lost, thereby overturning the 2020 election by 10 votes!! The American public is completely convinced that this is above board and welcomes another four years (maybe more) of Trump mania! Yay, USA!!! 

Despite Trump’s win, the rest of the world enters a new era of peace and unity. Countries come together to address poverty, war and oppression. There’s an urgency like never before to end racial and economic injustice and to meet all climate change goals... set at the 1992 Earth Summit.  

We can always hope. Happy New Year!