Reformers make world better one day at a time

  

A couple years ago we did a personality test as a family. It was telling. 

As it turns out, I’m surrounded by Reformers. My wife, my dad... my own daughter.  

According to this personality test, Reformers are task-oriented people who want to change the world – or at least the world they live in – for the “better”. Let’s just say they deeply desire a new, improved standard. They look at others and wonder, “Why the heck are you not doing anything? Get reforming!” 

I kid, kind of. In reality, true Reformers want to reform things to such an extent that only they can do the reforming. Group work is a real drag for a Reformer – better just do it yourself! 

Nothing wrong with this, of course. We all have our quirks of personality. Based on the same personality test, I’m an Investigator who "can become preoccupied with his thoughts and imaginary constructs." That means rather than do, I prefer to dwell... to absorb information and analyze it... to discern the best course of action... sometimes for days. Don’t get me wrong, I also have a natural inclination to reform the world, but in my mind. 

In the meantime, someone has to keep the world running. Reformers are the type of people (not mentioning any names) who get up at 5 in the morning to “start the day.” They get the gears grinding – perhaps even encourage the sun to rise every morning. 

“Let’s leave at 6,” is the most common line I hear from one Reformer (again, not mentioning any names) when we start a vacation. “We can sleep in the car,” is the next line. Who in the world can sleep in the car after starting the day with such vigor?? 

In my view, the day cannot be “started” – ever. I’m a firm believer the day must start itself. It must cajole me out of bed to do things instead of just thinking about them – okay, worrying about them. 

The beauty of being married to a reformer is that at times, I can just tag along for the ride. I don’t have to lay out every last item to be packed before our vacation because it's done for me. All I have to do is plan... basic things like the optimal daily driving distance, the best lodging for the lowest price, and the potential excursions that will derive the highest happiness quotient for our family (for obvious reasons, I leave myself out of the happiness calculation.) 

My daughter, God bless her, is both a Reformer and Achiever. This means there are no shortcuts in reforming her teenaged world. Similar to my wife, she is morally obliged to self-govern herself in ways that will not allow any deviance from what is required, whether this involves making the perfect cupcakes or completing a school assignment. 

There have been times when I’m woken up at one o'clock in the morning wondering who’s entered our home, only to realize it’s my daughter working on a poster... for Phys Ed. An all-nighter for Phys Ed class?? I know screaming at her won’t help, so I typically go back to sleep. Trust me, it’s easier. I’ve lived with Reformers for a long time. 

For most of my dad’s life, he rarely rested. In fact, I remember him owning a book called, “When I Relax I Feel Guilty.”  For my dad, a dairy farm suited him just fine, tying him to his work 24/7. Sunday, his only day off, meant only milking the cows twice and delivering the sermon (did I mention he also pastored a church with my mom?) He was also a grain farmer, but as you know, that only really takes up time in spring, summer and fall. 

Even in retirement, he continues to make the world better. He founded a food bank in the area and recently wrote a book about it. At age 75, he and my mom still maintain the quarter of land they live on.

Will he ever slow down? I doubt it. Reformers rarely stop. I know some who are still working in their 90s.  

I can only sit back, observe and marvel. 

Time to get out my Go America pom poms

  

It's time for some "spring cleaning," my Ukrainian sister-in-law texted me. This is a euphemism that normally peaceful people use to describe a military operation to retake territory; to "clean up" Russia's mess of death and destruction.

Once a "peaceful" person myself, I concur that a spring (now summer) cleaning is necessary. And, for the first time in my lifetime, I'm fully supportive of American military involvement. Their unwavering military support of Ukraine has been a bright spot for Ukrainians whose nationhood is at stake.

In this respect, I've become America’s biggest cheerleader. Who would have ever thought? My former 20-year-old self would kill me... Or at least write letters pleading for me to regain my sanity. How in the world did I become a supporter of the American military complex?

Don’t get me wrong, I still resent what the American military has come to symbolize. Responsible for senseless wars and death abroad, one sometimes wonders if they’re really making the world a safer place. 

But then I look at Russia and China. I see autocrats in charge of nuclear weapons who make Donald Trump look unimaginably harmless. The threat of these military powers is real – just ask any citizen of Ukraine or Taiwan. 

As Canadians, it's second nature to analyze the US to death, priding ourselves in their military failures. Yet they’re still our friends. We hope they won’t ever bomb us. And when times get tough, we’re more than likely to dust off our military gear and join them in combat, holding up the rear like we did in Afghanistan. We know how this war turned out, but after the horrors of 9/11, it felt like the only course of action.

 Twenty years later, we still have no idea the destruction caused by the interventions in Iraq and Afghanistan. It’s ignorant and irresponsible – even in the case of Iraq where some form of stability appears to have taken place – to say the end justifies the means. Time and time again, the US has intervened on foreign lands with dire consequences.

Only a few have turned out to be justifiable based on recent history. The second world war is an obvious one. Imagine if Japan had never bombed Pearl Harbour, inciting the US to join the war – would the Nazi regime today be a modern European superpower?

We’ll never know. But we do know that countries like China and Russia pose a similar threat, with growing persecution of minorities (the Chinese Uyghurs are increasingly being treated like the Jews of Nazi Germany) and threats to overtake sovereign nations, as is happening in Ukraine. 

There is a reason why the top US General, Mark Milly, sounded so defiant when asked recently about Chinese military dominance. In a press conference, he said the American military “is and will remain number one” about five times in one minute. It sounded rather Trumpy, but I get it. Chinese military dominance may not threaten the US directly, but it threatens a world power dynamic, putting at risk autonomous nations like Taiwan, South Korea and Japan. Even Vietnam is considered a potential American ally in the face of Chinese aggression. 

Similarly, Ukraine’s existence as a sovereign nation is largely dependent upon American armaments. Should these stop, the war is effectively over. Ukraine will become a vassal state of Vladimir Putin’s autocratic “empire.” Friends and family we know would be potentially persecuted.

America’s military might has become invaluable to Ukrainians who value freedom; who now live in a country that is being destroyed. For once, America’s intervention looks measured (almost too measured) and justified. And unlike past American interventions, almost all European countries support it.  

In contrast to wars in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, one can envision a narrative arising from this conflict that resembles that of the American Civil War or World War II: a battle to defeat evil, a modern-day David vs. Goliath. This motif plays well in a war to gain back one's country. 

As a “peaceful” Canadian, I’ll try to temper my rah-rah enthusiasm for military retaliation against Russia, but trust me, it’s there. 

Gun culture pervades America

  

I should be careful what I say about guns. We did, after all, just buy my dad a gun rack for his birthday. And three weeks ago, we did just blow a magpie’s nest to pieces using a shotgun. To someone living in the suburbs of Toronto, I might have a hint of red on my neck.  

Growing up on a farm on the Prairies, we owned guns. If there was a critter to get rid of (magpies, skunks, gophers!), a gun came in handy. I admit, even sparrows were fair game – using a BB gun, mind you, where the round pellets could literally be seen leaving the barrel. 

I moved up to a pellet gun as I got older. My dad has a .22 and a shot gun that he’s still hesitant to use but will go there if the magpies get too rowdy. 

So let’s just say I’m not opposed to responsible gun use. Although I don’t hunt, I’m not opposed to hunting, especially if it keeps the urban geese population down (kind of joking).  

What I don’t agree with is all-access gun culture, where people can own guns like accessories. One for the glove compartment, one for the night stand, one for the skinny jeans... There's no limit to what one can buy in the United States of America. Semi-automatic machine guns are marketed to everyday people and business is thriving – AR-15 sales increased 51% in 2020 alone.  

Most Americans cite protection as the number one reason for buying a gun. I can see why. When almost anyone could be carrying a gun, when a mass shooting could happen anywhere at any time, when on average 133 Americans die every day of gun-related deaths, you might start to think you also should pack some heat. 

It’s a positive feedback loop. After major mass shootings, there’s typically an uptick in the number of guns sold. After the tragic murder of 20 young children at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012, three million more guns were sold in the months that followed. Ironically, this led to an increase in accidental gun deaths, approximately 20 of them being children. 

 The pandemic year of 2021 broke a new record for gun-related deaths in the US, a 23% increase from 2019. Of the 48,830 deaths, 56% were suicides and 43% murders. This year is already on pace to set a record for mass shootings. 

As society becomes less stable – augmented by increasing isolation and division – the more prone it is to violence. We’ve also experienced instability in Canada, but fortunately without the dire outcomes. Deadly violence is inevitable when there are more guns than people. 

In the US, where anyone can own a gun for protection, society hasn’t gotten any safer. It’s become a tinderbox. For some people, it’s become instinctual to reach for one’s gun instead of taking the time to think. You’ve likely heard the news stories: This past April in Kansas City, a 16-year-old boy was shot point-blank when he went to the wrong house to pick up his brother. A few days later, two teenaged girls were shot in Texas after one of them accidentally entered the wrong car.  

One might think these were anomalies, but my own experience with American rage suggests otherwise. About five years ago, in tranquil Maui of all places, I set off a human time bomb after a woman almost hit my then 10-year-old daughter at a crosswalk. Rather uncharacteristically of me, I hit her car’s back window with my hand to express my displeasure. (With a fuller understanding of the inherent risk of touching an American’s private property, I would have thought twice.) As we continued to walk along the sidewalk, she drove on the other side of the street, yelling at me from out of her window. While others around us wondered what in the world was going on, I kept looking straight ahead, pretending to be above it all (who was this woman yelling at, anyway?). Fortunately, she finally found a parking lot to yell from, stopping short of following us on foot. 

Was she on drugs or was this just... normal? It's a behaviour that's become all too common. If she had access to a gun, I can only imagine the outcome.

But let’s not go there.  

Let’s stay in Canada.