This check engine light of mine

            I don’t know who invented the “check engine” light, but it’s gotta be one of the greatest failures of modern auto engineering.

            It seems that this little light is the catch-all for all things that can possibly go wrong with your car.  As a mechanic told me a couple weeks ago, “There are about 700 different things that can turn this light on.”

            So when it goes on, you’re always left wondering.  You don’t know if your car’s engine is about to seize or if you didn’t screw on your gas cap tight enough.  That’s helpful.

            But it does give the mechanic a chance to hook up his little computer to your vehicle and find something wrong with your car.  And that little hook-up alone costs between $50-100, depending on where you go.

            Or you can buy your own little computer for about $100 and diagnose the problem yourself.  This may be an option I’ll consider, as my vehicle’s check engine light has gone on four times in the last year.

            Now as I understand, most of the time when it comes on, it’s an emissions issue.  Due to higher emissions standards in some jurisdictions (definitely not Saskatchewan), this light will tell you if your car needs a new part because its exhaust is no longer meeting environmental standards.  Fair enough. 

But just how sensitive is this indicator?  I’ve been told that even brand new vehicles have this issue, so perhaps it’s a little too sensitive. 

Another thing – if it relates mostly to emissions, why call it a “check engine” light?  The name makes it sound more serious than it is.  It doesn’t mean your car’s engine will die in the next few minutes.  You can typically drive for months, if not years, with no issues.  But apparently, if it starts blinking, that’s a whole nother story – you might want to pull over to the nearest Canadian Tire.  This just adds to the confusion.

            If it’s not blinking and smoke isn’t coming out of your hood, it may not be worth the cost to fix.  It’s annoying to see all the time, however, so consider a made-in-Saskatchewan solution: apply a trimmed square of electrical tape carefully over the light.  So long as it’s not covering other indicators that could be important (i.e. your check oil light), you’re good to go!   You won’t even notice it’s on.  My parents have used this low-cost solution for the last two years, with no ill-effects.  Apparently, their mechanic has diagnosed their check engine light problem as untreatable, but thankfully, not terminal.

            And so the next time my check engine light comes on, I might just apply the electrical tape solution. 

Call it my snubbing of advanced auto engineering.

The pilgrimage begins

            Speaking of what motivates us…

There comes a time in time in a man’s life when he is motivated to do the unusual, something out of character and out of the ordinary.  I speak of a time when he must drag his comrades (and by that, I mean his dad, cousin and brother) 1,600 kilometres to a far-off, forbidden land.  To a land of terrorists and gun-slinging cowboys.  To a place where to sit for three hours on a frozen bench for an exorbitant price is considered an honour. 

That place, where football greats have clashed for the last century, is called Lambeau Field.  And that is where I will be dragging, however reluctantly, my closest relatives on November 20^th (admittedly, they don’t even cheer for Green Bay… yet.)

Sound foolish?  Yes, I couldn’t agree more.  As someone who balks at paying $50 for a Roughriders ticket when I could simply watch it on TV, it baffles even me.  Driving for two days for a 3-hour game is not quite the same as a short jaunt from Laird to Regina.  (Now that I’m a 20-minute walk away from Taylor Field, it’s even less magical.)

Call it an experience.  Call it male bonding time.  Call it a mild obsession of mine.  I’m not sure why, but guys tend to be more prone to these fixations.  I think it has to do with our inability to focus on more than one thing at a time.  Our brains are limited to one subject, and a channel change is sometimes quite difficult.  As in the olden days, when one had to go outside to crank the enormous satellite dish to get a different channel, so it can be with a man’s brain.  And sometimes it’s too cold outside to bother.

 Such will be our brains in frigid conditions at Lambeau Field.  There will be only one focus.  It will be football.  There will be no cheerleaders to distract.  (Green Bay is one of two NFL teams to not have cheerleaders, thereby keeping the game wholesome and pure.)  Our eyes will be fixated on the field as Aaron Rodgers dissects the defence with pin-point precision to lead Green Bay where no Packers team has gone since 1962 – to 10-0.

So it will be on that fateful day (but hopefully not too fateful).

Let us hope for a win.

Motivational techniques for the unmotivated

            The psychology of motivation is not something I’ve studied much, but it is interesting to observe what motivates us as humans.

          Take my four-year-old daughter, for example.  Tell her that it’s time to take a bath and she’ll dawdle for hours if you let her.  There’s no end of things to do and finish before she finds herself in the bathroom. It usually ends with me reaming out the child with, “If you don’t get in the bath now, you will never watch TV again!”  Motivation by threat, I’ll call it – completely ineffective, by the way. 

Yet if I simply tell her that I’m going to race her to the bathroom, she’s there in an instant, yelling, “I’m first! I’m first!”  There’s probably a term for it somewhere, but I’ll call it motivation by competition.

          I’m not sure how long this motivational technique will work (I’m hoping for at least one more year), but I’m reaping its benefits while it lasts. I have a feeling it’s subject to overuse, so best to wield my new-found powers wisely.

          Now it’s easy for me to think, as a parent, that children are rather weak-minded.  After all, they succumb so easily to the simplest motivational techniques.  But who am I kidding?  Adults are just as bad.

Taking me shopping, for instance, is about as bad as dragging along a two-year-old.  Yes, I’ll play happy for the first 20 minutes, but after half an hour, I start to get cranky.  You have to drag me through the aisles.  I’m not motivated to shop, so my blood sugar drops, my head starts to hurt, and I feel an aching in my feet.  Oh, the days when I could ride in the shopping cart!

          So my wife has to play some games with me.  She says I’ll get a coffee afterwards if I behave well.  Or I get to go into the electronics section all by myself.  It’s little things like this that keep me going.  Call it motivation by reward.

          Now contrast that with my wife and me at a financial planning meeting.  She’ll play nice for the first 30 minutes as well, but once we start getting into marginal tax rates and RRSPs versus tax-free savings accounts, her interest wanes considerably.  I, on the other hand, am into it.  I do research for days to prepare for the meetings.  I’ve got spreadsheets, online print-outs, and my top ten financial questions.  Call it the money motivation, but I’ve got it (it’s probably also a mild obsessive-compulsive disorder).

          So we’re all motivated by different things.  And it’s not the end of the world to admit we need motivation.  As much as we like to tout the benefits of internal motivation as opposed to external motivation (where we require someone or something else to motivate us), motivational techniques are still beneficial and necessary.

The workplace is no different.  Doing the same job everyday requires motivation.  Of course your paycheque is likely the biggest motivator, but it’s got to be more than just money. 

My director jokes that we, as the faithful worker bees, shouldn’t require any motivation.  After all, the greatest reward is work well done (yeah… sure).

          But I have a feeling he doesn’t completely believe in this.  Otherwise he wouldn’t go out of his way from time to time to show his appreciation.

          Like a few weeks ago, when he handed out “awards” to each of his underlings.  Similar to Michael Scott’s Dundies in the show, The Office, the awards were more like back-handed compliments.

          I received the “Never gonna get it award” for never winning our weekly office trivia contest (after six long months!).  Because I know this is the only way my boss can show affection, I interpreted this to mean, “I care about you.” (I don’t think he was hugged enough as a child.)

          It’s funny how a little thing like this can improve morale.  After I received my award, my productivity sky-rocketed! I was pushing through spreadsheets and bureaucratic red-tape (or shall I say, producing bureaucratic red-tape) like never before.

It almost lasted a whole hour…. okay, half an hour.

Riders' agony ends

            I hate to boast, but (ahem) I did predict a 5-13 record for the Riders with 10 games remaining in the season.  This was when they were still 1-7 and Ken Miller had just taken over head coaching duties.

            At the time I had written: “Will Miller, who now has his hands in everything, turn things around?  With the lack of talent, I seriously doubt it.  Unless our receiving corps can improve considerably and our defence can make a miraculous resurgence, I still see a 5-13 season on the horizon.”

            Fortunately, Miller has now resigned, not only as coach, but as vice-president of football operations.  Unfortunately, it appears that Brendan Taman will remain as the General Manager (although changes could still happen).  Both of them share the unique inability to find talent south of the border.  With Taman at the helm, I predict another rough year.

            Now it looks like the BC Lions are going to go all the way.  For the first time in a long time, the team hosting the Grey Cup could actually win it.  If I really cared anymore, this might be something to write about.  But I don’t.

            Go Green Bay!  :-)