“Is this the Third Wave?” my daughter asked as she worked on a school project from the comfort of our kitchen table.
Hmmm... the Third Wave, I pondered, thinking back to when it all began.
“My daughter,” I said in my most tender, fatherly voice. “For this I will have to tell you a story.”
She started to get up, but I gently pressed her by the shoulders back down into her seat.
“A long time ago,” I began, “likely before you can even remember, we didn’t wear masks. We didn’t even know what Zoom was.”
“I know,” she said. “I was 12.”
I patted her softly on her head. “Yes, you were but a child on the day of the Great Pronouncement. When Government gave us the decrees.”
“You mean when school shut down?” (So innocent was she then!)
“Among other things,” I chuckled. “In that day, our eyes were unopened. They were closed to all things viral. We did not speak of them.”
“Dad, why are you talking so weird?”
But I continued on. “When Government made its Great Pronouncement, we were fearful. There were rumours of disease and tribulation. We knew The Covid, although invisible, was approaching quickly.
“So Government, in a rare act of proactive measures, pronounced the following decrees: You shall not touch your face after touching a foreign object. You shall not come within two metres of your neighbour. You shall not go to work or to school. You shall not shop for unnecessary goods (unless from Amazon). You shall not go out to eat or drink. You shall be depressed and miserable.
“And for a while, we were. Until we realized that working from home had benefits, like not having to wear pants. Kids did not have to study. Unnecessary meetings and conferences were cancelled. And Government showered us with monetary benefits; so many, it felt like money was falling from the sky.
“For the people said, ‘Give us our money back! The stock market gods are angry!’ When Government told them it would lead to more debt, they responded: ‘We don’t care! Let our children pay it!’
“And so it came to be. This, my daughter, was the First Wave.”
She looked amused, gazing intently at something on her laptop.
But I continued: “We benefited greatly from the Covid Commandments. We went months with few people becoming ill. So Government said we could meet again in small groups – even go out to eat and drink! We had only to keep our distance. That is until the Second Wave.
“It was the Second Wave, my daughter, whence came the Great Masking. Some of the greatest advisors to Government said: ‘You have heard it said, you shall not touch your face after touching a foreign object, but now we say to you: Do not even inhale someone’s aerosols.’
“And so Government decreed that in public places, people shall cover their noses and mouths. But some people said, ‘You shall not force us to cover our noses or our mouths! We will surely suffocate and die!’
“Many false teachers arose, saying this was all a ruse – The Covid was no worse than the flu. And many believed.
“The people became lax, and Government grew tired of telling them what to do. Some experts in the laws of epidemiology said we should be more like Australia, shutting things down so we may save lives and grow our economy again. But many people said, “We don’t want to be like the Communist Aussies! We want our freedom now!’
“And so the deaths continued. That, my daughter, was the Second Wave.”
She looked at me seriously. “Dad, I gotta go to the bathroom.”
“No,” I responded to her softly. “I must tell you now about the Third Wave, that which you have asked.”
She looked at her watch and sighed.
“Even before the Second Wave began, we heard of great news. A substance had been discovered – a cold, frozen substance that could protect us all: The Great Rescuer. By summer, all of us would be able to partake in its freezing cold, life-saving properties. This gave us hope. But in some ways, false hope.
“Many people said they could not wait until summer. They said, ‘Let us go into the bars now – to eat, drink and be merry! And let us gather in large groups in our homes without masks. And let our economy function exactly how it was before!’
“Experts in the law of epidemiology warned against such activities. They said more people would get sick and many more would die.’
“But the people said: ‘We’ll take our chances!’
“And so Government, lacking in spine, allowed the people to ‘take their chances.’ More died, and continue to die, even as The Great Rescuer entered the arms of many. A few months did not seem long to wait, but the people had spoken.
“And so, my daughter, thus came the Third Wave.”
“That’s it?” she said. “That’s why I’m not going to school again?”
I looked at her lovingly. “Yes. For the safety of us all.”
With that, I let her go to the bathroom.
