Move over Boomers, Millennials are the new thang

Have you heard? Cereal sales are plummeting and it's all because of the Millennials. Cereal, according to 40% of young adults surveyed, is now an inconvenient breakfast choice because one has to clean up after eating it. 

That's right. Cereal is inconvenient. You might have to put a dirty bowl and spoon in the dishwasher. Or worse yet, wash them in a sink. You may also have to go out and buy milk ahead of time, which is totally a drag. 

Who are these Millennials anyway, and why do I keep hearing so much pointless information about them? 

 Millennials are those spoiled brats, I mean young adults, born between 1982 and 2004. They're today's "youth" who've never known life without computers or their mothers waiting on them hand and foot (that's a dig from a non-Millennial). 

They don't like cereal, they hate bar soap, and they loooove a 75-year-old socialist senator named Bernie Sanders.  

I must be of the older generation, because I have trouble relating. Sure, I hate bar soap (who doesn't?), but a 75-year-old white man instead of the first American woman for president? Let's keep our perspective here. 

No matter their views, one thing is for sure – the media can't stop talking about them. Now that Baby Boomers are turning senior and a little old school, journalists (and bloggers) need a new generation to focus on. 

Forget about Generation X. They are so yesterday. Even in their prime, they were overshadowed by the desires and achievements of the Boomers. We were the hapless, humble under-achievers born between 1965 and 1985.  

To clarify the age groupings, apparently there is some overlap between the Gen Xers and Millennials – one could potentially be a hybrid of the two. Although if I were lucky enough to be born in 1985, I'd definitely call myself a Millennial.  

As a Millennial, I'd bathe in all the attention I never received as a Gen Xer. I might even say things like: "Loved that tweet, dude – it was like, soooo Millennial" or "Ditch the coffee pot and gimme a K-cup, man – I know, I'm like soooo Millennial." 

I confess, I don't know how young adults sound these days. My daughter isn't of Millennial age, so I can't learn from her. 

Her age cohort, by the way, has yet to be named. I'm sure a scholar will soon coin a term for those born post-2004; perhaps something like the E-Generation. I think it's appropriate, as most of my daughter's friends have some kind of electronic device hooked up to their body for at least part of the day.  

I suspect this E-Generation will have an even greater sense of entitlement than Millennials. They won't just want work/life balance, they'll want life-in-work balance (that's where you bring your personal problems to the workplace). They'll want home delivery as opposed to drive-through and prefer child-less over childcare. Sadly, they'll never grow up knowing what it was like to just sit and wonder about things. Nor will they understand the hardships of looking through 15-year-old encyclopedias to compose a school essay.  

Now I know, we're all a little spoiled in this digital age. Whether young or old, we have an insatiable desire for speed and convenience. It's just so much more apparent with the younger generation. 

Especially when they start ditching cereal.

Buy a new car, make the economy happy

I want to be careful with my finances, like most reasonable 39-year-olds. But I've noticed there's not much reward in saving. One of my savings accounts pays an interest rate of 0.7%. I would like to get excited about that, but first, I have very little in the account to begin with and second, when inflation is taken into account, I'm actually losing money. Now I understand we're only talking $1.45 in monthly interest, but there's compound interest to consider!  (Thank goodness it’s a tax-free savings account.)

In our slow-growth modern economy, greater spending equals greater employment (supposedly) which equals happier people (allegedly) which equals happier economies (reportedly). Everyone can be happy so long as we keep spending. And that requires low interest rates, otherwise known as cheap money.

It's why young couples today barely bat an eye at spending $400,000 for a starter home and why university students are financing brand new vehicles while living off Kraft dinner. We are incentivized to spend what we don't have. And since saving money is so inherently hard to begin with, why not spend today instead of waiting until tomorrow? 

Such things I ponder as I consider retiring our 2007 Hyundai. I know, with only 250,000 kilometres, you'd think it could run for at least another two years. That was my thinking until it ruined our summer vacation plans.

I was once of the firm belief that you never buy a car younger than five years old or with fewer than 100,000 kilometres. That's because you get a heck of a deal on cars that have just had their warranties expire. What you pay for in repairs you more than save in new-car depreciation and monthly payments. It all works out in the end. Except when it doesn't and your wife is stranded alone on the freeway (okay, it wasn't quite a freeway and she was only alone until I biked over with our family's second mode of transport). 

But now that I sense the need for a different car, I'm starting to waver in my beliefs. I'm beginning to recognize my own human weakness – that I'm quite vulnerable to #1. Automaker advertisements suggesting a new car will make me whole and #2. My own mind's tricks suggesting a new car will make me whole (or at least 90% whole?). 

I've never been the first person to drive a shiny new car off the dealer's lot. I've also never had a car depreciate $4,000 in the first five minutes of driving. It must be both exhilarating and disconcerting, particularly for someone who minds the $1.45 in interest he earns in his savings account.  

While my in-depth analysis suggests a new car costs at least 100 more inflation-adjusted dollars per month (you can request my spreadsheet if you want), I'm still drawn to the incentives to buy new. With 0% financing and cash discounts, why wouldn't I take the leap into the abyss of new car ownership? And buy an extended 7-year warranty to boot! 

For the sake of the Canadian economy, I just might.