Have you heard? Cereal sales are plummeting and it's all because of the Millennials.
Cereal, according to 40% of young adults surveyed, is now an
inconvenient breakfast choice because one has to clean up after eating
it.
That's right. Cereal is inconvenient. You might have to put a dirty bowl and spoon in the dishwasher. Or worse yet, wash them in a sink. You may also have to go out and buy milk ahead of time, which is totally a drag.
Who are these Millennials anyway, and why do I keep hearing so much pointless information about them?
Millennials are those spoiled brats, I mean young adults, born between 1982 and 2004. They're today's "youth" who've never known life without computers or their mothers waiting on them hand and foot (that's a dig from a non-Millennial).
They don't like cereal, they hate bar soap, and they loooove a 75-year-old socialist senator named Bernie Sanders.
I must be of the older generation, because I have trouble relating. Sure, I hate bar soap (who doesn't?), but a 75-year-old white man instead of the first American woman for president? Let's keep our perspective here.
No matter their views, one thing is for sure – the media can't stop talking about them. Now that Baby Boomers are turning senior and a little old school, journalists (and bloggers) need a new generation to focus on.
Forget about Generation X. They are so yesterday. Even in their prime, they were overshadowed by the desires and achievements of the Boomers. We were the hapless, humble under-achievers born between 1965 and 1985.
To clarify the age groupings,
apparently there is some overlap between the Gen Xers and
Millennials – one could potentially be a hybrid of the two. Although if I
were lucky enough to be born in 1985, I'd definitely call myself a Millennial.
As a Millennial, I'd bathe in all the attention I never received as a Gen Xer. I might even say things like: "Loved that tweet, dude – it was like, soooo Millennial" or "Ditch the coffee pot and gimme a K-cup, man – I know, I'm like soooo Millennial."
I confess, I don't know how young adults sound these days. My daughter isn't of Millennial age, so I can't learn from her.
Her age cohort, by the way, has yet to be named. I'm sure a scholar will soon coin a term for those born post-2004; perhaps something like the E-Generation. I think it's appropriate, as most of my daughter's friends have some kind of electronic device hooked up to their body for at least part of the day.
I suspect this E-Generation will have an even greater sense of entitlement than Millennials. They won't just want work/life balance, they'll want life-in-work balance (that's where you bring your personal problems to the workplace). They'll want home delivery as opposed to drive-through and prefer child-less over childcare. Sadly, they'll never grow up knowing what it was like to just sit and wonder about things. Nor will they understand the hardships of looking through 15-year-old encyclopedias to compose a school essay.
Now I know, we're all a little spoiled in this digital age. Whether young or old, we have an insatiable desire for speed and convenience. It's just so much more apparent with the younger generation.
Especially when they start ditching cereal.
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