Saturday 1 September 2018

Canada's dairy uniquely alone

About a month ago I woke up with a cramp in my leg that reminded me what real pain is. I hadn’t had a muscle spasm like that since I was a kid. The problem, I self-assessed, was a lack of calcium. In the last few days I hadn’t been drinking enough milk. 
While there may be other ways to obtain enough dietary calcium than through milk, I have yet to discover them. Maybe it’s my genetics that demands my body consume at least one glass of milk per day. Or maybe it’s environmental: I grew up on a dairy farm where drinking milk at every meal was normalPerhaps I’ve developed a long-term dependency where I can no longer live without. 
Whatever your thoughts on adults drinking milk (it’s arguably unnatural, but so are many things), the benefits to growing children are indisputable  healthier teeth and skin, stronger bones, and aided muscle development. For adults, it helps lower blood pressure (and reduces risk of muscle spasms for some). 
We’re hearing a lot about the dairy industry during the latest NAFTA talks. Canada’s supply-management system is a unique beast in our free-market world. It’s protected from imports, while the industry is essentially restricted in how much milk it can produce.  
Our family farm benefited from this system. With 30 dairy cows (a small-scale farm if ever there was one), my parents’ farm stayed afloat during some disastrous decades of low grain prices and drought. With a guaranteed price for milk, Canadian dairy farmers don’t have to worry about price fluctuations. 
American dairy farmers, on the other hand, do. And they’re struggling. They're experiencing what one could call a market failure – where producers can’t obtain a sufficient price for their product. It happens all the time in agriculture, hence the need for subsidies. The U.S. has not hesitated to subsidize its farmers over and over again. But as subsidies have dried up, they now desperately want a chance to sell their milk to Canada. 
The only other option would be to create what we have, a supply-management system of their own, an option that some American dairy groups are actually advocating for. But for a Republican administration, this would be akin to starting a Soviet collective farm. Instead, they'd rather have Canadian farmers feel the same pain. 
While free trade deals are generally good for economies, we know they’re not always good for certain workers. Some industries are more vulnerable than others. For dairy farmers, losing supply-management could be disastrous. 
Sure, consumers may benefit from the flood of cheap American milk, just like we benefit from cheap clothing from Vietnam where workers get paid a pittance compared to ours. Buying milk is more expensive here, but we could also say the same about milk’s best friend, cereal, where the majority of the profits go to corporations as opposed to the farmers who grow the grain. 
With milk, at least you know the money’s going directly to the farmer. It’s a system that works remarkably well, but is anathema to free markets and trade. 
And these days, for better or worse, free trade rules the day. 

Saturday 25 August 2018

Garbage museums are the future

favourite place to visit is our city’s museum, and it’s not just because it’s free (okay, okay, it’s “admission by donation”). Every time I go there, I wonder what archaeologists will be digging up a thousand years from now. Will they find anything interesting? 
 I'm starting to wonder if there’s anything worthy of our era to put in a museum.... The remnants of an iPhone, perhaps? A piece of fibreglass from a Toyota RAV-4?  
The technological creations that compose our modern era are incredibly advanced yet so... uninteresting. Dig up a pot that was made 500 years ago and we put it in a museum. This has unique attributes! But a petrified laptop? Not so compelling. 
The value in old artifacts is their rarity. As soon as you find a hundred thousand flat-screen TVs, interest wanes. Like shopping bags, they become a nuisance (and a health hazard).  
Archaeologists surely won't waste their time digging up old landfills as they'll know exactly what they’ll find: a whole lot of garbage. An appropriate name for our era might be the Age of Junk. 
We simply have too much of it. I think about this every time I venture into our laundry room, where a hoarder’s dream of boxes are stacked against the walls, crammed full of good, useful things that, well, are no longer so useful. I’m not sure why we need a box full of 15-year old candles or a bag of old VCR cables. Why in the world do we still have two VCRs? I don’t even know how to hook them up to our new TVs. 
We’ve got books, baby toys, tapes and old clothes... many of which we plan to donate. Most stuff we do donate, but there are always those things you want to hang on to. Like the old suits in my closet. I tried one on the other day, thinking I’d wear it to a function.... then quickly realized I’d look like that guy in our church who wore what looked like his wedding suit every Sunday. The suit hung over my shoulders, about a half size too big. And the pants, wide and wavy, drooped Trump-like, to the bottom of my shoes. How would I show off my snazzy socks? 
Fashion styles wane quickly –  so quickly that we are constantly forced to recycle our wardrobe. It’s gotten to the point where less developed countries don’t want our used clothing anymore.  
And now China won’t even take our recyclables – or at least not the “contaminated” stuff. And who could blame them? We’re constantly sending them cardboard boxes with pizza stains. It’s the hardliners who cause the problems with recyclables, by the way. They’re the ones trying to push the limits every chance they get, like the woman who stopped me from putting cellophane into the garbage, claiming it was a paper product. This is what China’s upset about: over-zealous recyclers, ruining it for everyone! [End rant] 
Soon we’ll have to recycle everything ourselves. But do we even know how? China makes all the plastic products these days. 
They churn it out in reams. It forms our dollar stores. It fills our landfills. It floats in our oceans, slowly degrading over thousands of years, steadily making its way up the food chain 
Our junk will be with us (and in us) forever. 

Thursday 19 July 2018

Help for driver aggression

I tend to be an impatient driver. 
While following a truck and trailer going 15 km/h down a residential street this week, my blood pressure rose to dangerous new levels. The truck almost came to a standstill because there was a fresh patch of water – that's right, water – on the street. 
"It's okay, Dad," reassured my 11-year-old daughter, who has yet to get behind the wheel. 
That same day, another driver felt it necessary to go 35 km/h on a busy street where the posted speed limit is 50 km/h... minimum. As he approached a green light, he cautiously slowed to 30 km/h, then stepped on the gas as the light turned yellow. 
nearly swore. 
My wife has said my impatient driving gets worse in summer when I'm biking to work every dayThe constant motion offered by biking seems to make me adverse to the confines of a car in traffic. Now to be honest, the traffic in Saskatchewan is virtually non-existent. We just came back from vacationing in BC where the traffic flow is steady at best. Vancouver at four in the afternoon is a congested hive of commuting drones. 
It's painful, but thankfully some new car technologies have eased my pain. Instead of having to constantly apply the gas and brake, my car can do it automatically using radar technology to follow the car in front of me. After a while, I almost forget I'm driving.  
You might think this automation to be dangerous, and I suppose it could be if you're foolish enough to take your eyes off the road (alas, you're still required to steer). But I've found it actually does a better job of driving than I do. It prevents me from being careless in following a car too closely, like I did a month earlier when I was rear-ended. 
Most importantly, it forces me to relax. There's nothing to do but steer while taking in the lovely Vancouver scenery... Rows and rows of glass condo towers and million-dollar beat-up bungalows. 
Now if you can't afford a new car, there's a cheaper option to help you relax, and it's called hauling a canoe. If you can manage it, buy a used (or new!) canoe and strap it to the top of your car. I guarantee it will slow you right down. 
We picked up ours while on vacation. As soon as it was up top, a sense of calm enveloped me. No longer did I feel the need for speed. I let people merge in front of me. I even drove the speed limit. I was, after all, a Canoe Man. 
Canoe Man drive slow... reeeal slow
As two impatient motorists sped past me near Banff, I understood there was also a monetary benefit of transporting an over-sized boat on top of your car. The cop that waved to them from the side of the road was not just being friendly.  
Unsure of whether I was also being stopped, I slowed to a crawl beside the red-faced RCMP officer. He gave our car a glance, with our green 16-foot boat hanging brazenly over the back hatch, then gave me a wink and a nod. Okay, there was no wink, but he did motion with his hand for me to carry on. 
Although he said nothing, I know what he was thinking... "You go, Canoe Man. Continue your slow, stable journey. Go find some nice calm waters and paddle... paddle to paradise." 
And so I did. 

Canoe Man and Family

Tuesday 26 June 2018

Surviving the modern birthday party

After our daughter's birthday party on the weekend, we were left with a strange feeling of euphoria. 
We had done it... again. 
Whad managed a five-and-a-half-hour birthday party, with no one visibly injured in the process. 
We've had a child choke before, but thankfully no intervention was required. The situation alleviated itself, albeit with some spitting up of birthday party food on the birthday party table. 
Emotional distress is also an issue, with the risk further heightened when birthday parties are attended in rapid succession. One of our attendees came straight from a sleepover party. She could barely stand up straight. For her birthday card, she managed to scribble a three-word greeting on the front of a folded piece of paper. Who needs a signature anyway? There was $30 cash included, and that's all that really mattered. 
Like many parents, we struggle with birthday party inflation. There was a time when a five-dollar gift was appropriate. Now it's at least $20 per child.  
I remember the days when our daughter was quite involved in the birthday party circuit. With over 25 kids in her class, it was nearly a bi-weekly affair. And at $20 a pop, it started to add up. 
Fortunately for parents, birthday party deflation is also at work – the older your child, generally, the fewer kids that get invited. For our daughter's 11th birthday, that number was down to five. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the cost born by the parents declines. 
"Kids are spoiled these days," we might say, forgetting that as adults we aren't much different. The average cost of a wedding in Canada is now $30,000. Now to be fair, this is a much more remarkable/memorable day than a kid's birthday party. But I would guess the average birthday party is 1% of that cost at $300 a pop. Even with four kids, over time you'll maybe hit the $10,000 mark when all is said and done. You'll even save if a couple of your kids were born within the same month. 
Depends if you hire a clown, of course. Clowns strike me as being expensive... and creepy. 
Today's trend is to rent a facility far away from home. It's a quick fix. We tried it last year and quite enjoyed the maintenance-free aspect. Thankfully, we had a gift card help to help us with the expense, but with food and goody bags all infor the first time we were nearing that $300 mark. 
Fortunately for us, it was not to be repeated this year. No, this year's events had to be original. It also had to top the last birthday party my daughter attended, where her friend's parents managed to book the entire pool at a police training facility (I'm told one must have connections). 
My daughter's party involved the novel idea of going to the beach – a 40-minute drive from home. It also involved some canoeing, a modest hot dog lunch, and a visit to the local ice-cream shop. 
It should have run like a well-oiled birthday machine, but here's another thing about birthdays: not everything goes as planned. Twenty minutes into our beach party, a small thunderstorm arrived, forcing us to abandon the freezing cold lakeOur saving grace was that girls in grade five still call this kind of thing an adventure. 
In the end, we got to do everything we planned and were able to call it a day five-and-a-half hours later (did I mention that already?) I think we set a new record for birthday party duration. 
The kids' parents, our friends (thanks to the many birthday parties), appreciate us for setting a new precedent. They will have something to top in grade six.  
I'm also reminded that grade six, based on my personal experience, was when boys started to be invited back to the parties.
Please, no. 
Birthday fun at the beach?