Surviving the modern birthday party

After our daughter's birthday party on the weekend, we were left with a strange feeling of euphoria. 

We had done it... again. 

We had managed a five-and-a-half-hour birthday party, with no one visibly injured in the process. 

We've had a child choke before, but thankfully no intervention was required. The situation alleviated itself, albeit with some spitting up of birthday party food on the birthday party table. 

Emotional distress is also an issue, with the risk further heightened when birthday parties are attended in rapid succession. One of our attendees came straight from a sleepover party. She could barely stand up straight. For her birthday card, she managed to scribble a three-word greeting on the front of a folded piece of paper. Who needs a signature anyway? There was $30 cash included, and that's all that really mattered. 

Like many parents, we struggle with birthday party inflation. There was a time when a five-dollar gift was appropriate. Now it's at least $20 per child.  
I remember the days when our daughter was quite involved in the birthday party circuit. With over 25 kids in her class, it was nearly a bi-weekly affair. And at $20 a pop, it started to add up. 

Fortunately for parents, birthday party deflation is also at work – the older your child, generally, the fewer kids that get invited. For our daughter's 11th birthday, that number was down to five. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the cost born by the parents declines. 

"Kids are spoiled these days," we might say, forgetting that as adults we aren't much different. The average cost of a wedding in Canada is now $30,000. Now to be fair, this is a much more remarkable/memorable day than a kid's birthday party. But I would guess the average birthday party is 1% of that cost at $300 a pop. Even with four kids, over time you'll maybe hit the $10,000 mark when all is said and done. You'll even save if a couple of your kids were born within the same month. 

Depends if you hire a clown, of course. Clowns strike me as being expensive... and creepy. 

Today's trend is to rent a facility far away from home. It's a quick fix. We tried it last year and quite enjoyed the maintenance-free aspect. Thankfully, we had a gift card help to help us with the expense, but with food and goody bags all in, for the first time we were nearing that $300 mark. 

Fortunately for us, it was not to be repeated this year. No, this year's events had to be original. It also had to top the last birthday party my daughter attended, where her friend's parents managed to book the entire pool at a police training facility (I'm told one must have connections). 

My daughter's party involved the novel idea of going to the beach – a 40-minute drive from home. It also involved some canoeing, a modest hot dog lunch, and a visit to the local ice-cream shop. 

It should have run like a well-oiled birthday machine, but here's another thing about birthdays: not everything goes as planned. Twenty minutes into our beach party, a small thunderstorm arrived, forcing us to abandon the freezing cold lake. Our saving grace was that girls in grade five still call this kind of thing an adventure. 

In the end, we got to do everything we planned and were able to call it a day five-and-a-half hours later (did I mention that already?) I think we set a new record for birthday party duration. 

The kids' parents, our friends (thanks to the many birthday parties), appreciate us for setting a new precedent. They will have something to top in grade six.  

I'm also reminded that grade six, based on my personal experience, was when boys started to be invited back to the parties.

Please, no. 

Birthday fun at the beach?