This check engine light of mine

            I don’t know who invented the “check engine” light, but it’s gotta be one of the greatest failures of modern auto engineering.

            It seems that this little light is the catch-all for all things that can possibly go wrong with your car.  As a mechanic told me a couple weeks ago, “There are about 700 different things that can turn this light on.”

            So when it goes on, you’re always left wondering.  You don’t know if your car’s engine is about to seize or if you didn’t screw on your gas cap tight enough.  That’s helpful.

            But it does give the mechanic a chance to hook up his little computer to your vehicle and find something wrong with your car.  And that little hook-up alone costs between $50-100, depending on where you go.

            Or you can buy your own little computer for about $100 and diagnose the problem yourself.  This may be an option I’ll consider, as my vehicle’s check engine light has gone on four times in the last year.

            Now as I understand, most of the time when it comes on, it’s an emissions issue.  Due to higher emissions standards in some jurisdictions (definitely not Saskatchewan), this light will tell you if your car needs a new part because its exhaust is no longer meeting environmental standards.  Fair enough. 

But just how sensitive is this indicator?  I’ve been told that even brand new vehicles have this issue, so perhaps it’s a little too sensitive. 

Another thing – if it relates mostly to emissions, why call it a “check engine” light?  The name makes it sound more serious than it is.  It doesn’t mean your car’s engine will die in the next few minutes.  You can typically drive for months, if not years, with no issues.  But apparently, if it starts blinking, that’s a whole nother story – you might want to pull over to the nearest Canadian Tire.  This just adds to the confusion.

            If it’s not blinking and smoke isn’t coming out of your hood, it may not be worth the cost to fix.  It’s annoying to see all the time, however, so consider a made-in-Saskatchewan solution: apply a trimmed square of electrical tape carefully over the light.  So long as it’s not covering other indicators that could be important (i.e. your check oil light), you’re good to go!   You won’t even notice it’s on.  My parents have used this low-cost solution for the last two years, with no ill-effects.  Apparently, their mechanic has diagnosed their check engine light problem as untreatable, but thankfully, not terminal.

            And so the next time my check engine light comes on, I might just apply the electrical tape solution. 

Call it my snubbing of advanced auto engineering.