Having kids: a cost-benefit analysis

It's been confirmed. Children are costly. 

If you're a young couple thinking of having one or two, consider yourself forewarned. Don't go into it thinking they're money-makers. They won't even help you out in retirement. Sure, they were once good for plowing fields, but in case you haven't noticed, child labour is soooo 1800. 

While I grew up on a farm, in no way can I claim that I saved my parents money. I helped out, but it was more of a workfare program, to teach me the ol' Mennonite work ethic. I even got paid a little. Maybe I saved my dad some money in income tax deductions, but in the grand scheme of things, I was as costly to raise as any modern urbanized child. 

What is that cost today? In the U.S., the average cost to raise a child until age 17 is reportedly $233,600. Nearly a quarter million, according to a report by the USDA. Keep in mind this is an average. For higher income families, parents shell out over $400,000... per child! 

Now I don't want you to be too discouraged; the cost does decline the more you have. Try having three and it'll only cost you $177,544 per child. Have four or five, and I'm sure you'll save even more... per child, that is. Your grand total could hit a million. 

When forgone income is taken into account, say if one spouse decides to stay home with the kids, your costs will certainly exceed a million. That's your Porsche, your second home in Phoenix, etc... 

Again, don't be disheartened. I'm sure there's a valid reason why parents, as rational economic actors, partake in such risky, irrational behaviour. Child rearing offers non-financial benefits like, well, as one of the lead authors of the report cited, "joy and happiness."  

Eventually, I'm sure those benefits are realized. But then they become teenagers. And instead of getting a rebate, you get an even heftier bill. On average, parents pay $12,680 a year to maintain a precious, adorable infant while shelling out $13,900 to address the insatiable demands of a 15-year-old. 

Did I mention this report doesn't include the costs of post-secondary education? That's when you take out the second mortgage.  

I really don't want to paint too grim a picture here. As the author notes, there are these benefits. They're subtle, but every now and then you realize why you decided to take the plunge into parenthood.  

I'm thinking about how my parents viewed things. Like when I kind of apologized to my younger brother for pushing his face into a log. That must have been sweet. Or when my mom told me to bite my brother back, so he knew how it would feel. Equally precious. 

The teenage years were even better. Like the time I drove the family car into the ditch one late night coming home from a friend's house. At one in the morning, I can't help but think my parents undertook a quick cost-benefit analysis on parenthood. 

I'm being a tad facetious. There is something surreal, and perhaps irrational, about becoming a parent. No matter what the cost may be, most parents would put everything down for their children, whether it involves their wallets or even their lives. 

The bigger question we should ask ourselves is what expenses are indeed beneficial; what builds character and makes them better people? In our affluent society, this is the real challenge of child-rearing.

And when you don't have cows to milk, taking out the garbage just doesn't cut it.