If you want more evidence that children are over-priced, Canadian parents will spend $2300 on their kids this summer on average. That’s $2300 to keep their kids “occupied,” according to the recent BMO survey.
Ontario parents plan to spend the most at $200 a week, while on the Prairies (where kids can be left in a field for a few days), the cost comes in closer to $140. I sometimes wonder if parents are aware of free programming. Or free play.
I get it, though. Summer camps and vacations can be expensive. In today’s world, it’s better to have organized outdoor activity than playing video games all day.
It’s amazing when you break it down – which I have – how much our kids cost us. And as they age, the costs do not diminish; they escalate. Our 16-year-old daughter has yet to request a vehicle, partly due to a lack of a driver’s license, but school trips to Europe are very appealing to her.
I’ll just say it: We didn’t go on trips to Europe when I was in high school. No, we had 10-hour bus rides to Alberta. Whatever.
Today there’s an expectation that kids will partake in many fantastic opportunities before they reach adulthood. Some might say that kids these days are spoiled. They probably are. But so are adults. Even after suffering through a worldwide pandemic, we live in a golden age of world travel, advanced technology and instantaneous gratification. Amazon one-hour delivery is a testament to that.
Our excess can make us into less compassionate people – unable to relate to those who truly struggle. And things cannot make us happy. That’s probably an overly used cliché, but there’s a grain of truth to it.
The things I enjoy most are those I’m most familiar with, like old clothing and a car where I no longer question odd clicking noises. Old used things have gone through the wringer; they're tried and true. We know all their shortcomings and still accept them out of familiarity.
Kids are like that too. They grow on you. After raising them from babies, you get to know them a little. They may not always react well to you as a parent, but they’re generally attuned to family norms and customs. They’re part of the family ecosystem, if you will, and, yes, when the conditions are right, can bring much joy and meaning to our lives.
Much has been said about the prevalence of helicopter parenting, where parents oversee every element of a child’s life, thereby protecting them from taking risks and doing things on their own. There’s something to be said for letting our kids fail. But I’ve observed that in many less independent, communal cultures, parental attachment is normal. Kids will live with their parents much longer (at times out of financial necessity) than in western countries.
This may not be a bad thing. We were told once that Japanese teenagers were a couple years developmentally behind Canadian kids because they weren’t as independent. If that is indeed the case (which I’m hesitant to believe), then I’m all for their approach to parenting. The Japanese students who’ve boarded with us over the years have been some of the most respectful and emotionally intelligent young people I’ve ever met. And despite all their childhood coddling (I joke), they were willing to take the risk of coming to a completely different country to learn a foreign language.
In Canada today, kids also seem closer to their parents than one or two generations ago. Fathers, in particular, are much more involved. At the beach last year, I observed two young dads carrying a lot of beach supplies (possibly packed by their wives, I grant you that) with their little kids. They played with their kids all day long on that hot, crowded beach, and as I sat in my lawn chair from a distance, I thought, “Where do you get off showing me up like this? But... good on you.”
In an “Everybody Loves Raymond” episode that we re-watched recently, Raymond jokes that every generation seems to be getting better at fathering. His dad, in case you haven’t watched, was a bit of a despondent grouch. Yet he claimed he was still a better father than his dad (he didn’t beat his kids, after all). Raymond joked that if the trend continued, his great-grandchildren would have fatherhood cased.
For all the talk about our culture losing “family values,” this is a positive trend I hope will continue. No matter how much it might cost us.
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