When pets break free

Our animals are getting restless. Every time we leave the house, I fear what disaster might await us. 

A couple nights ago our hamster made what one might call a jail break. I still have no idea how the little rodent could muster the strength to lift the heavy cold bars that caged her – some supernatural surge of power, perhaps. Nor can I imagine how she grew the courage to make the four-foot drop from my daughter's dresser – but she did it, albeit with the help of her exercise ball (we're still reconstructing the scene).  

The elaborate and efficient manner causes me to wonder... Was this planned? Her gnawing on the bars had lessened in recent nights... 

Happily for us, the furry fugitive didn't make it much further than the closet; the tissues in my daughter's old shoe box slowed her down. It's tough to fight one's deepest instincts: Must escape, must escape – but first must chew tissue... 

But escape to where? She has no idea what lurks out there. A suitable mate is miles away. And her cage holds the best food money can buy. 

Yet clearly, she wanted out. 

A million ethical questions raced through my mind. Are we cruel, heartless owners? Have we enslaved our animal to a life of meaningless existence? Should we just let her out and allow fate to deal with her as it may? (And by fate, I mean our cat.) 

I've seen what happens to animals that are unrestrained. I have yet to train our cat to do anything meaningful whatsoever. And as much as I yell, she still walks on our dining room table whenever she pleases. 

Oh, she pretends to be sorry. That meek little meow of hers really pulls at the heart strings, not to mention those light blue eyes. With her looks, she could get away with murder. And she almost did. 

Once again, I have no idea how it happened. How is a cat able to open the latch to a bird's cage? But there she was, when we arrived home one night, sitting in the cage with an immobilized canary. We were almost down two animals that day. The bird miraculously recovered and the cat conveniently laid low for the next 24 hours (thereby escaping my furor).  

This is the cruelty of nature, I'm afraid. As much as our animals may want to be free, the consequences could be dire. Having a cat is a little reminder to our furry and feathered friends that the world out there is rife with hazards.  

I didn't tell my family this, but I had a little sit-down with our hamster shortly after the incident. (Her name is Twinkie, by the way – short for Twinkle, of course.) I told her, quite solemnly, that it's really not worth the risk to leave the cage unaccompanied. There are too many dangers in the real world. Then I told her about our cat and what she does to her plush rat toy, just for kicks.

She looked at me with her beady little eyes, and I almost thought she winked. Had I finally convinced her?

Alas, it was all for naught. In an act of defiance, he revealed her yellow, over-sized incisors, and on the metal, scarred bars, she began to gnaw away. 

It's a scary world out there, Twinkie.