Why I still won't be a stock broker

          Back in grade 9, we had to do some research on possible career paths.  We were given a document with a list of all the possible careers out there, and were told to choose our top three.  Mine, in no particular order, were journalist, economist and stock broker.  (Strangely, I didn’t pick government bureaucrat!)

          It was certainly an interesting mix of career possibilities.  The third choice baffles me to this day.  What was I thinking?

          In one of my previous jobs in government, I actually got to see the New York Stock Exchange, and more than just from the outside.  As part of a government entourage “celebrating” a new Saskatchewan/Alberta company going public, I actually got to go inside.  I even had breakfast on the original trading floor of the NYSE with the CEO and his entourage (I like that word).  After a hearty breakfast, we were escorted onto the trading floor to watch the new company ring the legendary bell to open markets for that day.

          Now if I was in any way still interested in developing a career as a stock broker, this would have been the most glorious day of my life.  While I enjoyed the experience, I couldn’t help but think that I have nothing in common with these guys (and yes, they’re all guys in their 30s and 40s – the ones that control the fate of my and your retirement savings).

          For one, I have no appetite for risk.  Sure, I have some RRSPs in mutual funds, but I would have an aneurysm if I knew my whole life savings were invested in stocks.  I would probably be one of those brokers who never made you any money, but never lost you any money either.  In other words, you might as well just put your money under your mattress and save the administration fees!

          More than that, I could never live with myself if I did end up losing a wad of cash.  As my closest friends and family will tell you, I am renowned for second-guessing ALL of my decisions.  I typically have to research a major purchase for at least a week (sometimes a month) before coming to a decision.  And after the purchase, I’ll torment myself over the decision for at least one more month.  After purchasing our first home, I tormented myself for six months (the bigger the purchase, the longer the second-guessing).

          I love money-back guarantees, because you can be guaranteed, I’ll be coming back with that product if I’m not 110% satisfied.  I once brought a TV back to Wal-Mart after using it for six months – what can I say, they’ve got an amazing return policy!

          What drives an over-analytical person like me crazy is that so much of our economic fortune is really out of our hands.  Our pensions and savings are tied up in a money market that is hot one day and cold the next.  Our economies are tied to the fortunes of the United States, China, and Europe.  If one fails, they all fail.

          Speaking of which, it amazes me even more how much impact the little word “Greece” has on the markets.  And it stupendifies me (I just made up that word) as to how easily stock markets and stock brokers can go so back and forth on this issue.

          The herd mentality is alive and well.  One minute the entire world economy is going to collapse on account of a tiny country in Europe, the next minute European leaders have saved the day by saying, “We can probably fix this, you know.”  Really??  Is that all it takes to pay for years and years of mismanagement and indebtedness?  Just throw more borrowed money at it??

          You may wonder why I’m taking this so personal.  And I’ll tell you why it’s driving me crazy.  It’s not because my pension is taking a hit every time another bad news story arises out of Greece, or because interest rates are not letting my savings grow, or because I fear it could cause another economic meltdown in Canada.

          No, it’s because I exchanged $1000 Canadian dollars into US dollars two weeks ago just as the Canadian dollar hit bottom.  At today’s exchange rates, I lost $50!  Give me two more weeks to get over it…