I’m not a doctor. But if you’re over 45, consider a colonoscopy.
Trust me, there’s not a big line of people waiting for one. Apparently, a lot of people also cancel – that’s how I got in only four days after meeting my doctor.
Sure, it’s not fun. The preparation sucks. And a long tube going up your bottom end is a little unsettling.
Some of you might do the easier “fecal mail-in" for colon cancer testing, which is great. But from what I’ve been told by my specialist, it’s not fool-proof. It won’t necessarily tell them if you have polyps in your intestine, which is the most important factor for developing colon cancer.
Consider this: If they find one polyp in your intestine and remove it, there’s now almost no chance of you developing colon cancer. That means you can keep eating your bacon, your steak, and your Ukrainian sausage. All of these increase your risk of colon cancer... if you have polyps.
In my case (and my wife’s), they found irregularly shaped polyps that are at higher risk of becoming cancerous. It could be one year from now or it could be twenty. But once they’re gone, the risk is reduced significantly. During your procedure, they’ll snip them off painlessly.
Why no pain? Because you get fentanyl. I don't want to over-promote the drug given the opioid epidemic out there, but when safely administered, it does what it’s supposed to do – makes you feel good and forget almost everything. There may be a moment or two of discomfort as that nasty probe goes up and through your insides, but I assure you, it’s manageable. Even without the drugs, you can survive the procedure... just ask my wife! But why would you want to do that?
Get the fentanyl. Take a day off from work and enjoy the time in the hospital, where they tend to your every need. Don't worry if the nurses accidentally see under your gown. It’s nothing they haven’t seen before.
Even the doctors are friendly. I’ve had the pleasure of working with (yes, I consider these procedures a partnership) some extraordinarily young and talented specialists in the past couple years as I’ve had to endure a couple unwanted procedures. One young intern, who looked like she was 12, told me with eyes lit up that I would have the worst pain I had ever experienced over the next two weeks after surgery. And she was right! But she said it so nicely that I hardly worried about it at the time. Don’t worry, this was not a colonoscopy – although it also involved my bottom side, it was something completely different for which I will not go into detail at this time. A colonoscopy will not leave you in pain, I assure you. Only feeling good. Get one if you can.
This is my message after the recent passing of former president and CEO of the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Jim Hopson, who was diagnosed with colorectal cancer three years ago at the age of 70, made a point of emphasizing the need for regular check-ups as he dealt with his diagnosis.
Most of us will not take his advice to heart and assume we’re the fortunate ones. I understand, because I was the same way. Until I was “lucky” enough to get a colonoscopy in my 30s because of an unrelated issue. When they found a polyp at high risk of turning cancerous, I counted my lucky stars. That got me on a regular schedule of check-ups, just like my wife who also stumbled into a three-year colonoscopy rhythm.
I've had three and my wife has had four, and we're only in our mid-forties! But incidents of colorectal cancer have been rising steadily for adults under 50 for the last thirty years.
Now we can both enjoy our Ukrainian sausage – without the guilt or shame.
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