Pandemic hair loss more noticeable

             With more time on my hands, I’ve taken time to self-reflect. Literally, as in looking in the mirror. 

Perhaps I've been looking too hard, but I have noticed a couple stray hairs since the pandemic began. Either I’ve grown some new ones below my hairline or they’ve become stranded. I clipped one of them – shaved it right off to see what would happen. 

I’m not sure if this is just me over-analyzing things. I tend to do that. My wife says I’ve always had a high hairline.... since my youth. But this high? 

There’s a battle of genetics going on here. I learned a long time ago that hair loss is passed down through your mother. So basically you get your maternal grandfather’s hair. In that case, I’m in trouble. Or maybe it’s your maternal grandmother's father’s hair? I have no idea. 

My grandma is 97 and her hair is lustrous. I would die for her hair in my 90s. My dad’s is just as thick, and he’s in his 70s. Hasn’t lost a single hair to Father Time. 

So I thought maybe I would escape the fate so many of my uncles have succumbed to. The nightmares I used to have in my 20s of going bald (no joke) went away in my 30s. But now, in my early 40s, the reality is downright scary. 

I'm reminded of the Seinfeld episode where George, a balding man himself, diagnoses another man whose hair is thinning. With the tone of an oncologist delivering bad news, George tells him he's got “14 months. Maybe 10.” When asked if there’s anything he can do, George replies: “Live, dammit. Live! Every precious moment as if this was the last year of your life. Because in many ways...it is.” 

Once all hope dies, I suppose it’s easy enough to take a razor to your scalp. The style these days is to shave it smooth as a baby's bottom. Then grow a beard.  

But I worry about the transition phase, when one has to find new and interesting ways to comb what’s left of your hair. I've been monitoring a political commentator on TV who's been finding interesting ways to keep some strands alive on top. They've become fewer and fewer, and I keep wondering when they’ll finally blow away.

The combover isn’t in vogue anymore (thank goodness), but there are other options for balding men. There’s the comb back which can last for a while. I once had a prof whose comb back ended in a nice pony tail. This distracted attention from the lessening of hair on top. 

There’s the island piece, where a patch gets stranded in front. That isolated chunk can survive for a while, depending on its size and thickness. 

The legendary bald spot is probably the least of my worries because it is so common. You only see it when a picture is taken of you facing the wrong way. At least I won’t see it. 

But there’s also the Friar Tuck look, where you lose the hair on top, but keep it nice and bushy on the sides and possibly even in the front. This is wrong on so many levels. 

Some people (with hair) might be tempted to say that balding isn’t a big a deal because so many men experience it. But then I think about male politicians... Can you really make it to the upper echelons of political power as a bald man? In a democracy??

Joe Biden comes to mind, but his hair loss at nearly 80 years of age is understandable. He makes the comb back look pretty good. The American public also knows how he used to look as vice-president. Most relevant of all, he just replaced a lunatic with loads of so-called hair. 

I worry more for burgeoning politicians like Erin O’Toole. Not that I really worry for the guy – I just sympathize with the state of his head. Now I know Conservatives never thought much about this when they voted for him as leader, and they shouldn’t have. 

But I still wonder... How many women (and possibly men) are going to subconsciously vote in the next election for the long, luscious mane of hair that has become the hallmark of Justin Trudeau as opposed to the shinier top of O’Toole? 

One image speaks to youth and vitality – the other, a reflection of our greatest fears. That we will one day grow old and lose some of our youth. 

Not to be too superficial, but none of us want to lose features of our physical prime. Not even the individual hair I clipped a year ago.  

By the way, it never came back.