Enough fake news: Leap year is a hoax

I hate to get political, but the leap year is, for lack of a better word, a hoax.  It's a ploy devised by government to make you work an extra day in February. (By the way, it’s actually March 1st.) 

It’s a boon to corporations. Just think about it: An extra day of work every four years to feed the corporate machine. An extra day where you’re paying interest on your home, your car, your life!

The artificial extension of February is not only hard on the pocketbook, but on your health. How else to explain the abnormally high hospital loads that occur on leap days compared to other years?  

Leap days may even trigger premature labour. Ever wonder why there’s such an unusually high percentage of leap year babies? These poor kids have no birth date! It's a ruse saying they were born on February 28th or March 1st  – a blatant act of government deception. But we’ll never know how many "leaplings" exactly because the government hides their actual birth date – erased from the records!  

Then there’s the psychological toll. Getting through February is hard enough, but an extra day in the dead of winter is like having an unwanted child in your 50s. Only the extra day doesn’t bring any joy... ever. Leap year was designed to keep us unhappy and depressed, removing all motivation to riot (and perhaps pillage) in the streets, to protest for a better, shorter year. But we will not be kept silent (more on that later).  

Do you ever wonder why the Mayan calendar didn’t have a leap year? Because they didn’t need it! Their calendar lasted longer than their mathematically-advanced civilization, without the help of any leap days. The Mayan calendar was so revered that its end date in 2012 could have meant the end of the world. But it didn’t... not this time. 

If that isn’t enough to convince you, consider this: Every 100 years, the leap year is skipped. This happens every centurial year. It happened in 1700, 1800, 1900... but not in 2000. How could this be, you might ask? Obviously, the world's power brokers considered the impact the loss of a leap year would have on their power and privilege. Why not push it off another hundred years, until say, 2100, when we’re all dead? And that’s exactly what they did! 

No, for the good of all humanity, the leap year must end. Please join us today, March 1st  (that’s right, today is actually March 1st!) for our quadrennial leap year protests, to end leap years once and for all. 

Together we’ll start our own calendar, void of any mention of February 29th and the misery it brings. 

Order your 2024 calendar today!