Safe Netflix sites could be in our future

This past summer an American congressman tried to ban autoplay on platforms like YouTube. So when you’re done watching a video, it wouldn’t automatically start the next one on queue. It would be illegal.

Upon hearing this, I determined this man must be 1. a Republican and 2. straight from the Stone Age. Because if platforms like YouTube can’t do it, someone somewhere will develop an app that will do it for you. 

There would also be rioting in the streets. Okay, maybe not rioting, but some strongly worded tweets.  

Can you imagine Netflix without autoplay? Imagine having to go all the way back to the main menu after watching an episode instead of simply waiting five seconds for the next show to begin! 

Not that I can wait five whole seconds – I click on Play Now.  

Next they’ll be wanting to ban Skip the Intro. This feature is a life-saver. I don’t need to watch a show’s introductory credits ever again. 

Back when The Cosby Show was popular (typically we don’t talk about Cosby anymore), I can remember delighting in the opening music that would introduce the characters. But in that time period, you only watched the show once a week. There was no binging. These days I can get through a full season of a show in a few weeks... okay, sometimes one week.... okay – but only in rare instances – a few days. Maybe there should be a law against this? 

Netflix rarely releases a series one episode at a time – they dump the whole season on you, knowing you’ll be subservient to its autoplay late into the night. The Netflix hangover is real. It can make your life miserable. 

Our bodies used to be regulated by TV in real time, similar to ancient days when we were regulated by the rising and setting of the sun. Of course TV back then wasn’t really in real time, but it was at least based on a preordained schedule, hence the epic rise of the TV Times. As a result, families still gathered together at a specific time to watch a show. It was called family time. 

Today you can watch a show anytime, anywhere. I find myself watching football on my phone, the news on my laptop and the binge-worthy shows on my TV. And I don’t even have cable!  

That was part of the reason I turfed cable – to cut back on my TV watching. Thanks, Netflix, for coming out with five new shows every week!

If the government really wanted to help people, it would create safe Netflix sites. Places where you could go to watch just one show at a time. When the episode ends, someone would gently tap you on the shoulder and tell you to move on: “Now it’s time to do something useful with your life, okay?” 

This really isn’t that funny.  

I’m not sure how Netflix does it, coming out with so many new shows every week, including a 175-million-dollar blockbuster last month. I’ve read that the company hasn't turned a profit since 2011.

Believe it or not, this is typical of the new economy, where tech companies are constantly banking on a brighter future. Despite its piling on of debt, Netflix says, “Chill, dude, I got this covered – just one more show, alright?”  

I could say I was worried, but I’m not. When it comes to technology and entertainment, things will work themselves out. Anything to keep us hooked. As the aforementioned congressman wrote about social media, “This is a digital drug. And the addiction is the point.” 

But like the war on real drugs, good luck trying to regulate.