Thursday 27 August 2015

Well-groomed candidates gaining appeal



            You know political advertisements are having an impact when your eight-year-old starts reciting them.
            “The budget will balance itself,” she likes to tell us. “We know what happened in Greece.”  Uh-huh…
            She also likes to bring up the “McDuffy trial” to get some laughs.  I’ll take any humour I can get during this long election campaign.
            I’m also looking forward to a little more variety in political advertising come September.  And I’m not talking about eight new versions of the “Justin’s just not ready” spot. 
            Judging by the bombardment of these ads, the Conservatives are still hopping scared of Trudeau.  He still has the potential to break through given his charisma and boyish good looks and yes, let’s not forget the nice hair.
            As for the guy with the beard, well, he’s slightly ahead in the polls, but few know his name outside Quebec.  Maybe that won’t matter as Canadians seem keen on trying a new political flavour this election, that being orange.
            The Liberals and NDP, who don’t have enough money to charter their own jets yet, are looking like the true underdogs in the race, which could help their cause down the road.  While money certainly helps, it can’t buy a campaign.
            What money can’t stop are the external factors that campaigns have no control over. For Harper, it’s the “McDuffy trial.”  For everyone else, it’s the economy. 
            You can tell Harper is a little excited about the recent downturn in the world economy by the way he now poses questions to himself.  Since reporters are too hung up on a certain entitled senator, apparently he now asks his own questions at press conferences.
            I haven’t heard it verbatim, but I’m sure Harper’s exchange with himself goes something like this: 
Question: “Stephen, I’ve been wondering, what do you think about the recent economic uncertainty and the general darkness that’s overcoming the Earth?  Do you think the other leaders have what it takes to get Canada through these dark, fearful times?” 
Answer: “That’s a great question, Stephen, thank you for that.  Quite frankly, I’m afraid Mr. Mulcair will spend all the surplus cash we’ve accumulated over our time in power (ahem) and spend it frivolously on things that people don’t want.  Obviously, this man has a beard and can’t be trusted.  And as for little Justin, quite frankly, he would struggle to manage his kids’ lemonade stand…  Nice hair though!”
            To which the press would erupt in a chorus of laughter at his impeccable East Indian accent. (Okay, that's taking it a bit too far.)
All kidding aside, Harper is probably the only prime minister in Canadian history who welcomes an economic downturn during an election campaign.  It tells you he has an uphill battle to fight.
Voters are entering the nine-year itch of the electoral cycle.  This is a dangerous time for any sitting politician.  No matter who it is in power, everyone else suddenly starts to look better, and voters are beginning to flirt with some other well-groomed candidates.
Only one question remains: Will it be the man with the beard or the man with the hair?
Given the facial hair trends as of late, I’m placing my bets on the beard.

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