I’m going to say this as delicately as possible... and as non-offensively as possible. I’ve even replaced any potentially rude word with a very civil “[blank]”. Feel free to substitute any word you feel appropriate in this blank space. Let me also say that my noon hour walks are usually wonderful. I thoroughly enjoy the park that’s near my workplace. But every so often, I have a bad walk. One that makes me want to vent. And so begins my end-of-summer rant...
First, to all you Boomers (aged 60+): When riding your high-end electric bikes down the walkways, which you share with pedestrians – people who may be enjoying a leisurely stroll in the park, some as elderly as you – I say this as respectfully as possible: Slow the [blank] down!
That’s all. Just take it slow. Imagine you’re riding a real bike that requires real muscle to push those pedals. Take the time to enjoy what you’re doing: pseudo-physical activity, without the effort!
I get it. You feel like a kid again who can blast through a crowd of middle-aged women going for their noon-hour walk. You even got an e-horn to go with your e-bike, which you blared repeatedly as you approached them at thirty kilometres an hour. Please, act like a real bike owner and buy a [blanking] bell!
Let me be clear: I have nothing against electric bikes. I’ve had older women (nothing against older women) pass me biking on the way to work against a strong headwind. But it’s on the street! That’s their right to pass me. Do I feel a little emasculated? Yes, a little. But I have a regular bike. I’m not yet at the stage where I can justify a pedal-assist electric bike.
I’m sure I’ll get there eventually, but when I do, I’ll bike on the street!
Now, to all you Gen Zers (the young’uns under 30): When you ride your electric scooters all over the city because 1) you don’t want to get a real driving license or 2) you don't won't want to use a real bike because it requires physical work, I say this with a hint of sadness: Get off the [blanking] sidewalks!
Admittedly, I haven’t had many issues with e-scooters – it’s nothing like the perpetual fear I have of e-bikes – but I do encounter their beeps on the walkways, which maybe are legal to ride on? I’ve also read about accidents in places like Paris where e-scooters have scared the life out of the elderly as they go to out to buy their baguettes and, I can only assume, other French pastries. As a result, e-scooters are now banned.
Please, don’t cause an e-scooter ban in Saskatchewan.
Now, to all you fellow Gen X Mid-Life Crisisers (ages 45-49): When you ride your bike on a busy pathway with a large stereo somehow melded to your bike, meandering through the crowds with your hands up in the air, I say this with next to no sympathy for your problematic privileged life: Turn the [blanking] volume down!
I get it. You’re going through a midlife crisis. It sucks. But that doesn’t mean you have to share the pain by blasting your awful 80s music across the park. When I go for nice, pleasant walk with my nice, pleasant wife, we don’t need to hear your tunes blaring from a kilometre away. And for goodness' sake, keep your hands on the handlebars! (Truthfully, this has happened numerous times.)
Finally, to the diligent city park workers (ages 16-79?), of whom I have the utmost respect: You keep our parks clean and looking relatively green during our many summer droughts. You water the flowers and poison our gophers. For that, I give you thanks. But... during noon hour (or any other hour), when many people are trying to walk on the pathway and not on the luscious green grass you’ve worked so hard to maintain, could you direct at least some of your [blanking] sprinklers away from the pathway?
I have some experience with directing sprinklers. I know that it’s possible. It takes a little effort at first, but it’s worth it! People will start using the path again and your grass will look even better! Win-win!
End rant.
To all whom I’ve potentially offended, I sincerely hope you’ve had a great summer!
No comments:
Post a Comment