The making of a perfect driver

            When you teach someone to drive, you must first re-learn the rules.  These are the rules you will need to obey to get your driver’s license, after which you can unlearn them:

·         Stop before the stop sign, not two feet after.

·         Come to a complete stop, not a nice smooth rolling stop.

·         Keep both hands on the wheel – no wrist driving or one-handing it.

·         Shoulder-check endlessly until your neck hurts.

·         Don’t speed up when the traffic light turns amber – actually stop.

·         Above all, and this is the hardest one, NEVER exceed the speed limit.

While there is certainly merit to knowing the real rules of the road, we all know something different happens as soon as you get your license.  Drive the speed limit and you’ll hear it soon enough from other drivers.  Slam on the brakes for an amber light and you might just get rear-ended.

While most of us don’t want to become jerk drivers, we do want to “keep up with traffic” and, well, avoid any obscene gestures.

My nephew knows all about this.  Even with a large “LEARNER DRIVER” sign pasted on our back window, he would get the occasional honk from drivers who desire a little more aggression on the road.  One time it even came from a fellow learner driver.  Apparently this young woman thought a honk would help us do a better parallel park.

No, it’s not easy when you’re first learning to drive because there are too many of us out there who have driven for too long.  While we all know it’s better to err on the side of caution when driving, that thinking gets thrown out the window when we hit the streets five minutes late for an appointment.

I also know how easy it is to criticize every driver I see make a bone-headed mistake, then make that same mistake a few minutes later.  'Oops, sorry for cutting you off,' I apologize in my head, 'but nothing a friendly wave can’t fix!'  If you, on the other hand, cut me off, I’ll be tail-gating you for the next ten blocks.  More often than not, my Christian values are placed in the glove box when I get behind the steering wheel. 

These, of course, are not the traits I want to instill on my dear nephew or daughter when I teach them how to drive.

Learner driver no more!

Fortunately, my nephew exhibits none of the same aggressive tendencies.  His sense of caution, while at times testing my patience, kept my car scratch-free through five months of driver training.  (“Okay, now give 'er!” is probably something you don’t normally hear from a driver instructor.)

Caution also helps pass driver exams.  When it came to the road test last week, he did what every learner driver dreams of - he drove the perfect drive. Yes, no demerits.  How does one pass the first time with no demerits??  While I was incredibly happy for him, I couldn't help but feel a little envious of his instant success.

I was awarded nine demerits, one short of failing my exam.  Even though I passed, I felt like a failure after my examiner reamed me out for not making smooth lane changes.  In a town with no traffic lights, that’s embarrassing.

“Driving is a privilege,” he lectured, “and your license can be taken away at any time.  Do you know that?  Do you know you could be hauled in to take a test at any time?”

Uh-huh...  Maybe when I’m 90.  That’s when I expect my daughter to report me to the authorities for reckless old-man driving.  I don’t foresee myself giving it up easily, but I’m sure the keys will be forcibly pulled from my hands.

It’s usually for the best.  Rules, and reaction time, change a lot in 74 years.