Earth's wobble destroys faith in stars

  

Among other things, the Earth’s wobble bothers me. 

I try not to dwell on it but... Why? Who would design this wonderful sphere we depend on for life to wobble? Not to get into a theological debate but... this does seem rather calculated. Someone was clearly messing with us. 

Perhaps you don’t believe in God but rather the stars. Well, here’s something interesting for you: The Zodiac is a bust. That’s right – and I take great delight in saying this – due to the Earth’s wobble, you’re no longer the astrological sign you think you are. I encourage you to get your birth date checked out based on the latest star readings. 

To explain, we must go back 2,500 years ago when the Zodiac was created by the Babylonians. They divided constellations into 12 unequal segments of the sky so your birth date roughly coincided with a constellation that aligned with the sun. Yeah, weird. What they didn’t know is that the position of the stars shifts by one degree every 72 years due to – yes, you guessed it – the Earth’s wobble. Like a spinning top, the earth’s axis moves around and, over centuries, those shifts add up. 

This means constellations that aligned with the sun during Babylonian times no longer align at the same time of year. Even more concerning, my birth date constellation is no longer what I once thought. No longer am I a “diplomatic, gracious and fair-minded" Libra. Instead, I’m a “hardworking, kind and analytical” Virgo. What the heck?? I built my life on this stuff!!  

Sure, maybe it checks out. I can be kind, analytical and, at times, hardworking. 

But what about my life partner? I married her under false pretense, thinking she was a “progressive, original, independent” Aquarius. Now she’s a “responsible, disciplined and self-controlled” Capricorn! Huh... Who am I to argue with the stars? 

Thankfully, we’re still compatible. We’re both earth signs now, making us technically “soulmates”. According to the “stars” (i.e. Google), we just need to learn to have more fun. So true. 

Yet it still bothers me. I really wish the Babylonians had had a better grasp on astronomy. So good at astrology, yet so bad at astronomy. 

Even Galileo believed in the stars. I mean, of course he believed in the stars, but he believed in the woo-woo guide-me-in-all-things stars, too. This great astronomer taught an astrology class and wrote horoscopes on the side! This is the genius who proved heliocentrism: the theory (and it's just a theory, much like gravity, germs, global warming...) that the earth revolves around the sun and not the other way around! He had to recant his views after pressure from the Catholic Church and was nearly driven mad (I'm speculating), so he wrote horoscopes to ease the pain. 

If only he knew about the earth’s wobble. Then he could have changed astronomy and astrology as we know it today. He could have corrected the Zodiac signs that have absolutely no chance of being changed today despite all the scientific evidence. 

If there’s anything harder than changing the views of the Catholic Church, it’s accepting we aren’t at all who we think we are.