An ode to teachers

  

As my daughter begins her last year of high school, I wanted to express my gratitude to the people who have made a real difference in her life: her teachers.  

At Christmas and in June, I will get a bill (actually, a wad of receipts), for all the gifts my daughter has purchased for her teachers. And every year, I will voice my outrage before quietly relenting. While students aren’t required to give teachers gifts, and I’m sure most high school students don’t give to every teacher they have had over the year, I'm glad she does it. People need to know they’re appreciated, particularly those who have so much influence over our children.  

 Even if they sometimes ruin her long weekends with homework, I appreciate them. Even if they espouse questionable political views (most are to my liking), I appreciate them. Even if they've had a bad day, I appreciate them. 

As parents, we know far more about our daughter’s teachers than they might think. Unlike some kids, who when you ask, “How was day?” shrug their shoulders and say, “I dunno,” our daughter regales us with a plethora of school stories. We know who acted up, what the teachers said, and their general emotional state. Most of all, we understand that they go through a lot. 

This is not your typical nine-to-five job. Yes, they do get a lot of time off, let’s not kid ourselves. They get two months of summer, Christmas break, February break, and Easter break! I know, it’s not so simple. An elementary school teacher of mine once told me that he spent on average ten hours a day related to his job. This included class preparation and marking, but likely did not include extra-curricular activities. When all was said and done, even with the days off, he claimed that he put in the same time over the year as someone with a “normal” eight-hour-a-day job. 

Then there’s the stress. It takes a considerable psychological toll managing a classroom every day. My sister, who is a teacher, tells me stories that are difficult to hear. Teachers deal with a lot of issues that kids bring from home into the classroom. I never wanted to teach and I still don’t want to because I fear that kids would drive me to do terrible things. 

 A long time ago I wrote about one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. I was lucky enough to have him for three grades in our small rural school. He exuded a positive energy, someone who really loved what he did. He also did some very funny things, which may not be appropriate today, but which I will share with you now: 

• He once picked up a desk with a misbehaving kid in it and placed them both in the hallway. 
• When he got upset with us, he would throw chalk, aiming slightly above our heads. 
• He played a game with us in gym where he would throw large rubber balls at us. One girl got her head sandwiched between a ball and the gym wall. That was the end of gym period, for that day anyway. 
• He carried around a cup of coffee, which one day got a hacky sack thrown into. 
• Someone allegedly stole a pack of Certs from his desk, which became a very big deal. This was the year’s biggest scandal. 
• He taught us sex education in grade eight, speaking to us like adults. For this sheltered Mennonite boy, it was enlightening. 
• At the end of every year, he would invite the entire class to his place for a party. 

I had experiences with other teachers that were also memorable but I won't share them with you here. Let's just say I was not always in an "easy" class. We caused many teachers to shout and some to cry as we pushed them to the limits of their mental health. 

Let me say this: Thanks for hanging in there. Teachers, I appreciate you.   

Your phone may soon write bestsellers

  

I listened to a podcast recently where a popular author and ChatGPT were both tasked with writing the beginning of a short romance story. Then the stories were read aloud. 

Listeners were then asked to guess which one was written by Artificial Intelligence (AI) and which one by the author. On a side note, this author’s books were some of the thousands used (without permission) to create better storytelling for ChatGPT.  

Guess what? I chose the wrong stories. I thought the AI-produced story sounded more like a human author and the human-written story sounded computer generated. Granted, I’m no literary wizard, and my wife and daughter clearly are because they picked the correct stories. But for me, I felt that the author's story was a little cheesy, while the AI-generated story was more subtle and refined. 

This could just reflect my preference in writing styles. I prefer stories that are believable. The author's story was about a woman showing interest in a middle-aged bald guy on an online dating site. The AI story was about a woman noticing a good-looking guy (with hair) in a coffee shop. You tell me which one sounds more believable!

According to the podcaster, however, it was abundantly clear which story was AI-generated. A lot of it had to do with the attention to detail. Maybe if I had looked at the stories side by side, I would have also observed that the AI piece was less original in its storyline and vocabulary. 

But it sure came close for this male reader, and at a fraction of the effort. While the author spent countless hours writing her piece – even consulting people on various aspects of the 1000-word story – the AI came up with its (his/her?) story in a mere 17 seconds.  

That simple fact could be a game-changer for writers around the world. Imagine the capabilities of publishing houses which could, in the future, simply enter a few key words and push out a novel every 17 seconds. Granted, it would require some editing and re-work, but this happens already. Novels are routinely edited and painstakingly re-written. Even a prolific author like Stephen King says his first draft requires significant editing, with at least ten percent of it cut. He's a polished, full-time writer who takes about three months to write his first draft. What if a similar rough draft could be generated in three minutes?

I know what you’re going to say: There has to be some “soul” to the writing. That’s what this podcaster argued. She said there has to be a human element to writing that exudes a certain style and specificity.

I'm still not buying it. However cold you might take me, I felt “soul” in the computer-generated story, too. I hate to say it, but you can program “soul” into a story. It’s not like stories and novels don’t follow a certain formula – they all do.

And while I think it will be some time before ChatGPT produces literary masterpieces, I don’t doubt that it will eventually create some instant bestsellers. As my teenaged daughter recently informed me, “commercial fiction” may have less character development or “soul”, but it makes more money. Because people read it!

Good writing keeps us reading until the end, whether it be a John Grisham novel or a self-help book. It doesn't have be the next Pride and Prejudice or Moby Dick (and no, I've haven't read either).

So what if the author isn’t human and the editor is unknown? Many ancient stories have unknown authors and editors. These are still good stories! They’ve been edited over time to become even better. In many cases, they may no longer resemble the original story that was told. 

What this means is, we could have a lot of AI-assisted bestsellers on the horizon. An author could simply enter some ideas, have a story produced, and then adjust a few elements to make it more “human”. Will the publisher question the author as to whether AI was used? Will it really matter? 

We might come to a point in human history where we can order our own novels – type in a few key words and voila! In a few minutes, you can read it on your phone. No more libraries! No more bookstores! (I forgot, that’s already happened.)  

Now I doubt that our love for physical books will ever cease. Most people like a book they can grasp in their hands.  

But as to who originally wrote the book, readers may not even care. 

  

 

White tube socks in fashion forever

  

As with most fashion trends, I’m usually a full step behind. 

Take socks, for example. I’m a lover of white tube socks. I love how they grasp at my lower calves, creating a sense of warmth and security. They rarely bunch up and have never let me down. But about 20 years ago, they went out of style. Heck, they were probably never in style, but I wore them with pride. 

A few years ago, however, I took the plunge and reduced the length of my socks considerably by buying some ankle socks, as in, they barely covered my ankles. That worked for a while. But I understood they still weren’t low enough. I had to go even lower, to a point where the sock barely covered the bottom of my foot. After another monumental shift in how I dressed, I was finally cool. 

It didn’t last long. Now I see people wearing shoes without socks. The other day, I saw an NFL analyst with a suit and brown loafers, and yes, no socks. He was showing off his bare ankles in a suit, and in my humble opinion, it didn't look good. I understand the trend of wearing sneakers with a suit – it sends a cool, casual kind of vibe – but no socks? This is madness!

Fortunately, what is out of fashion eventually becomes new again.  Combatting this sockless revolution with boldness is Generation Z. They’re wearing the tube socks again (technically, "half-crew" socks). Not only that, but they view people who don’t wear higher socks as old. It’s hilarious to me when a twentysomething considers people in their 30s old because of their socks.  

So I’m good, right? I can take out my old tube socks from the sock drawer? Not so fast, says my teenaged daughter.

The question becomes: Can I, a 46-year-old man, emulate Gen Z fashion? Like I said, I’m typically the last one to join a new fashion fad. I wore baggy khakis to work until they began to fray at the seams. I wore silk shirts into the late 90s. Now I’m going to suddenly act like I’m some fashion crusader? A teenager who wears, as the young'uns call them these days, socks and slides? 

Because I do wear white socks with sandals on occasion. While I’d like to think it’s sending an impression of youth, my daughter would beg to differ. One must be careful when wearing white tube socks with sandals as you enter middle age. 

I’m in that delicate life transition where I can’t wear what young people are wearing, but at the same time, I can’t look too old either. After a certain point, I realize it won’t matter. At a certain age, people understand if you can’t quite buy the pants that look good on other people. Or that you’re from another generation and so it’s okay if you look like you’re from the 1950s. Young people don’t know what people our age are supposed to wear anyway.  

For that matter, neither do my co-workers. Most (and I’m talking about the men primarily) don’t notice when I wear the same pants two days in a row. I alternate between two dress shoes and flip my belt from brown to black accordingly. We had a fashion guru in our office for a few years which helped the overall “look” of our male-dominated workplace. At least when she was around, we became a little more fashion-conscious. Guys would actually come to her office for free consultations on which dress socks to wear with which outfit. 

This was especially important when the funky socks were in style (maybe they still are?) The funky socks went especially well with the shorter-than-normal dress pants. Remember Justin Trudeau when he was cool and popular? I clearly remember his funky socks, back when he couldn't do anything wrong... I doubt he wears them anymore. 

One piece of advice I have to offer on fashion: Don't cheap out. Don’t settle for the Costco funky socks pack and think you’ll be original. You must actually go to a men’s clothing store, like I once did, and buy an individual pair for an outrageous amount of money. I thought it was a rip-off until I wore them to the office the next day. Even my khakis-loving co-worker commented and he’s never one to compliment me on my clothing. 

For one day, anyway, I felt like a fashion guru. As usual, it all came down to the socks.

Touting some funky Ukrainian socks today