Ask anyone, and the worst thing about a job interview, a speech, or even a needle in the arm, is the anxiety that precedes it.
We don’t cope well when something horrible is on the horizon.
Today
we’re watching a slow-moving tsunami that’s still about a hundred miles
away. On the one hand, it’s good we have the time to prepare; but on
the other, the wait can be excruciating. Especially when there's nothing
more we can do about it. We’ve bought all the toilet paper we possibly
can.
Now there’s nothing left to do but to adhere to asocial distancing, the things not to do to avoid clinical depression: Stay home. Don’t congregate. Isolate.
This
leaves us with nothing better to do than watch the news (not
recommended) or search the internet for the most riveting conspiracy
theories (also not recommended). You'll be overcome by a sense of doom
in hours.
It surprised me how quickly I succumbed. At first I thought I was immune. I’m a relatively fit 40-something-year-old. That’s right, I’m in my prime (don’t laugh).
Then
one morning a couple weeks ago, while walking to the shop to get my
car, I felt as close to having a panic attack as I’ve ever had.
Perhaps
it was the empty downtown streets on a weekday. Perhaps it was the
steady barrage of COVID-19 news I had been consuming for the past two
weeks. Perhaps it was the change in societal norms. I don’t like it when
people start acting weird, moving across the street to avoid me on the
sidewalk. What do I have, leprosy?
Don’t get me wrong, I like social distancing. In fact, I prefer
social distancing. Shopping in half-empty grocery stores is ideal for a
person like me, whose blood pressure rises by a factor of how many
people are within a five metre radius (it’s an interesting equation).
But I can’t deny that the prevailing coronavirus dread was having an impact on my psyche.
I
had to withdraw from the news. I had to become
ignorant of what was going on. For a news junkie, this was very hard, and I still have relapses. But
do I really need to know how many people died in Italy today?
A
recent poll indicates that I’m not alone. The coronavirus is having a
major impact on the mental health of 20% of Americans. I’m sure it’s the
same across the globe. If we're not careful, it will only get worse.
I’m
fortunate that I still have a job, but the angst must be mounting for
those laid off. People in the service industry, including small business
owners, must be dreading the financial impact. Others who are in debt,
one pay cheque away from insolvency, may feel particularly helpless.
We
live in a wealthy country, where the government can play an over-sized
role in coming to our aid, but our resolve to get through this will be
tested.
In
this golden age of humankind, we tend to lack coping skills for major
life disruptions. We ride the good times without thinking bad days will
ever come. Then when something hits, we’re somehow lost, the anchors in
our lives (our job, our things) no longer keeping us hinged.
Of course
we’re more resilient than we think. My 97-year-old grandma lived
through the Great Depression, World War II, and six kids – yet somehow
her generation has been the least prone to depression of all of us. I
just talked to her on the phone, where she laughed and made jokes, as
she typically does. This is a woman who broke her arm in December, got
transferred to a nursing home miles away from her friends, and is now confined to a small room, alone. But she was laughing.
She's living proof that we can survive this.
So
give up the news for a while. Take this opportunity to do something
different. Enjoy the solitude (if you can). Reach out to people, by
phone or other means, and don’t forget, you’re not alone. The whole
world is going through this, and technology-wise, we couldn’t be in a
better position to weather the isolation.
As
a collective, we may even grow stronger from it. When the day comes
(and it will) when we can all act normal again, we’ll feel like we’ve
just escaped from prison. I have no real experience with that, but I can
imagine.
Life
is relative. We only feel the way we do today because of how we felt
yesterday, and the day before. Bottom line: Life is still good; it may
get tough, but it will be bearable.
A few months from now, it will be even better.
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